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  JENNIFER BELANGER, INTUITIVE PRACTITIONER
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But I Changed My Thoughts!

5/16/2019

1 Comment

 
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​Years ago, I, along with most of us who vibed this vibe,  was introduced to the Law of Attraction as a way of living a more full, more affluent, more abundant life and more peaceful life. 

In this first introduction, I learned that "thoughts make things" and "change your thoughts, change your life."  

While this is a very, very good beginning point to moving onto another path of our journey, it is just that, the beginning steps on a long and glorious way of self-discovery and self full-fill-ment.  

Remember this word, fulfillment.  It will matter in a bit.

There was a time in my life where the rabbit hole I had dug myself into seemed way to deep and far to black ever easily to remove myself from.  

I had dug this hole without a shovel, without any real knowledge of doing it, and certainly without any intention at all.  

No-one intentionally intends to dig a hole so deep they can't find a way out, yet this is precisely what we do, and we do it unconsciously.  

Like so many journeys our human self takes, we take them unconsciously.  This is why "change your thoughts, change your life" is such an important beginning step.

When the choice is finally made to take stock in where you are, what you have chosen to bring into your life, the people, the places, the external circumstances of life that are now eating at your inner self, our thoughts shift.  

When we start consciously choosing to think differently, we will begin to notice circumstances shape-shifting into more beneficial, more enjoyable, and more peaceful avenues to walk down.  

This type of thought process helps remove us from the VICTIM mindset, which is the pattern our ego uses to keep us believing that external circumstances prevent us or determines our destiny.  

When we are in VICTIM IDENTITY, we dig the rabbit hole.  
Quickly.  
Without intention.  

Using the Law of Attraction, we begin to MANIFEST  our new paths.  

We begin to chose differently, using our mental power, to describe the world we want to "See" for ourselves.  

Our motivation to change our external circumstances begins us on a path of imagination.  

Affirming, through words and thoughts, we begin to visualize our future selves in a more positive, more FEEL-FULL-MENT way.  

Our thinking starts to change, so our lives begin to change. 

We become Goal and Task Oriented.  
We follow the "SHOULD BE" model that books, self help gurus, movies and therapists tell us we "should be",  and BOOM!  Another Rabbit Hole is dug.

This rabbit hole is much more beautiful than the Victim Rabbit Hole.  
It has pretty things, sunshine, blankets, happy people, money, and even more things  we imagine into our being.  

SO...why are we still Un-Full-Filled at this stage?  

The Law of Attraction tells us that if we just "think it," we can "be it" and "have it" !

This is where it becomes tricky and where most of us get stuck.

We begin to linger in the "Should Be" state of life.

I "Should Be"...  Rich, happy, married, traveling, have a business, have a career, have a...whatever the hell you think your should be, perfect life tells you to have.  

Perfect life, equipped with the perfect pill and the perfect drink so we can live the should be illusion forever because we are supposed to be.....

Sooner or later, your soul finds a way to whack us upside the head and remind us there is more.

This is where we begin to realize that "thoughts may indeed become things," but "things" aren't what brings us joy, love, light, and happiness. 

At this point on my journey, I learned that yelling over and over "WTF, GOD!  I CHANGED MY THOUGHTS, I CHANGED MY LIFE, WTF!!!"  may not have been the easiest way to move forward, but it did work.  

My soul brought the student me to the teachers I needed for this next step. 

CHANNEL CONSCIOUSNESS.  

This is where I learned to Surrender. 

Albeit the harsh and long path way, but I did learn.  

I learned to live in the Zone of a Universal Presence, a Life Intelligence who has never been born and will never die lead me.  

Now, this is not in a religious, head down, bow to the big guy in the Sky with the Big J sitting next to him lead the way to follow.  

It isn't a don't kill the spider, ant, fly or gnat while sitting crossed knee in the middle of the ocean with the sun beating down on me while I burn begging for enlightenment way either.

No, this was an "I can not do this with just my thoughts anymore" sort of way.  

I surrendered my need to "figure it out" and allowed Universal Intelligence to guide me by slowing down my mental chatter.  

I stopped pursuing life as a Sprinter. 
I stopped looking to acquire externally and began researching my life internally.   

Intentionally going internally to understand eternity.

I still visualized, I always set goals and did the tasks to reach those goals, but It wasn't from MOTIVATION, which comes from external circumstances, the mind, the individual or the things happening outside of me. 

I visualized from INSPIRATION, which comes from the Mind of the Infinite. 

What our SOUL NEEDS not what our Ego desires.  

Once I chose to slow motion my life, I began meditating, breathing, listening, following the strands of Divine Intervention, seeing with eyes behind my eyes, hearing with ears behind my ears, feeling with a heart behind my heart, my slow-motion thoughts became "Flow Motion" living.  
 
This is where I began to Understand Life itself  lives through us as unique expressions of itself through our soul.  

This is now where I attempt to live daily. 

In the BEING.  

In this state we understand the "I AM AS US." or as my Catholic upbringing taught me rather unsuccessfully, "Thou art and I am and I am Thou Art."

This is the state of Being where we are no longer just Task Oriented or Goal Oriented, we are Purpose-Oriented.  

This is the state where we have our Satori, or "Aha" moment that tells us our lives revolve around Kensho which is the slower awakening of our Souls that is ever eternal., ever evolving.   

In Kensho, we slowly release that which no longer serves us.  

We begin to learn that to really be FULL-FILLED we need to stop looking to FEEL-FULL.  

In this VISIONING State, we learn who we are "Meant to Be." 

This long and winding road brings us more prosperity, more joy, more love, more health, more wealth, more peace, more freedom, more engaging relationships, more creativity, more excitement, more awe-mazement, more In-sight, more Full-fill-ment and more of all you have ever hoped, dreamed and desired with the added joy of knowing, really knowing we will never, ever be without because it is already given.  

I said attempt because life is a practice in patience, love, and understanding.  

In order to Re-Member our soul's purpose,  we need to practice daily self- love, self-acceptance, self -understanding in a "Soul-Flow Motion" of Being.  




1 Comment

The Benefits Of Tarot In Our Lives.

2/1/2019

5 Comments

 
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The twist and turns, peaks and valleys, sunrises and sunsets of life can often leave us to feel lost, confused and even conflicted.  We see our path that was once so clear become fuzzy, unclear, changed.   Our confidence can be shaken with an illness, a loss, an unexpected cost.  
These potholes along our journey can sometimes threaten to engulf the peace we have created with fear and uncertainty.  Even the good things can cause an unexpected disruption; finding out you are finally pregnant, a dream job in a new state, a lottery win, a marriage, a new home.  The list is endless.
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When these crossroads find us, and they will, Tarot will offer the guidance to navigate the road ahead with valuable insights to help make decisions in a natural and relaxed manner, in a healthy and positive way. 

Tarot helps us to identify the reasons for our feelings.  Often we feel sad or upset about something that may or may not show itself clearly.  On the surface level, we may believe we know the reason, but with  Tarot helps we are more able to dig out the root of these feelings once and for all.  

Tarot can also help us make potentially life-altering decisions in which the process can sometimes be very stressful.  Tarot readings help ease some of this stress by guiding us to see all angles from many different perspectives.  A single message from a Tarot reading may be all that is needed to make this decision in a more balanced and positive way.  

A Tarot reading is especially useful when we are stuck in a situation that no longer serves our highest and best good.  This could be a job, a relationship, our environment, our health, or life in general where we no longer feel in the flow of life.  

Tarot is also an incredibly useful tool to help us understand the people we surround ourselves with and those who appear in our lives by chance or circumstances.  Tarot can offer us advice on how best to vibrate with these people or help us determine whether we need to vibe somewhere else. 

Tarot helps us talk to our loved ones on the other side.  We can ask them questions and receive answers through the cards using certain spreads or just a few cards. 

Tarot can also help us by merely pulling a card in the morning to start our day.  This daily practice offers us quiet time in the morning to center and ground ourselves, think of the day ahead while creating a blueprint of the path in which we aspire the day to be.  

This simple act of pulling a Tarot card each day will set us up for success by helping our intuition work as a tool to nudge our mind in the right direction.  Tarot gives us a starting point-a message- that can take us in whatever direction we feel called by the card.  
By listening to and trusting the first thought that pops into our head when seeing the card expands and strengthens our intuitive muscle while offering us a message that is more than likely what we need to hear at the moment.

By strengthening our intuitive muscle daily, we will start seeing other fantastic benefits, like better decision making, clearer thinking, internal dialogue and trust rather than the external need for validation, as well as knowing we are more than capable of making our lives more enjoyable by empowering ourselves with clear purpose and intention. 

As you can see, Tarot can be the exact tool we need to ensure the proper conditions are met to help the seeds we plant in our garden grow strong, vivid, healthy, beautiful, vibrant and nourishing with minimal weeding. 


To learn more about the role Tarot can play in your life contact
Jennifer Belanger Intuitive Medium and Tarot Practitioner
3 Charms
25 Main Street 2nd Floor
Chatham, NY 
​https://www.energytouchintuition.com


5 Comments

An Innocent Man

1/22/2019

2 Comments

 
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My commute to work is a lovely back road scenic drive over the "mountain" as we from Berkshire County, MA call it as we travel to Columbia County, NY. 
It is exactly what you see in picture books, coffee table books and images of backroads and the path less traveled documentaries depicting the simpler way of life. 

The fields leading way to the distant Berkshire Hills and eventually the Catskill Mountains. 
The farmers on their John Deere, farm stands every few miles with trust buckets to leave your cash take your veggies, coolers with fresh eggs, vintage containers with freshly picked flowers, cows and llamas mingling in fields, birds and turkeys picking off the berries along the road, and little to no real traffic to be concerned of. 
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This drive is but one of the many joys of living on my piece of rural America or as my friend, Jennifer Mach, commonly refers to "the 413".  


Four days a week, twice a day,  I am able to enjoy the quiet time on this road contemplating my day ahead, talking to my guides, hearing their answers, listening to fantasy football talk radio tell me how to win big even though I never do, listening to music. 
It is an extraordinary time twice a day for reflection and guidance which brings me to the point of this musing.  


Last week, being the end of the regular football season, and deciding I needed some music rather than talk football, I tuned into the Billy Joel radio station for a change of headspace and was greeted almost instantly by "An Innocent Man".

Some people stay far away from the door
If there's a chance of it opening up
They hear a voice in the hall outside
And hope that it just passes by


"Huh".

I had been spending time wondering why we as humans have such a difficult time separating the ego from the soul. 
Attempting  to truly understand the difference to easily differentiate between  the "I" in the "I am" and  the "EEK" in the "Ego." 

Once again, Spirit led me to music for a greater understanding.

Some people live with the fear of a touch
And the anger of having been a fool
They will not listen to anyone
So nobody tells them a lie

I know you're only protecting yourself.


"Protect me from what?"

Freedom. 

Freedom to be, to let, to allow, to live.  Freedom to choose your life on your terms.  Freedom to love rejection as much as you love reward.  Freedom to allow the ebbs and flows of life and all its ups and downs, strangers and friends, lovers and foes to come and go with the same freedom.  

Freedom to know unconditional love, acceptance.  

Freedom to learn all there is to learn about you without caution or criticism.  

Freedom.  


"I get that.  Free Will, the Magician, the Wheel of Fortune, The Secret, I've read the books.
There has to be more."


Some people see through the eyes of the old
Before they ever get a look at the young

Some people say they will never believe
Another promise they hear in the dark
Because they only remember too well
They heard somebody tell them before


"It is hard to trust.  Lies are everywhere.  Humans lie."

Some people sleep all alone every night
Instead of taking a lover to bed

Some people find that it's easier to hate
Than to wait anymore
I know you don't want to hear what I say
I know you're gonna keep turning away


"I'm not turning away. You are not hearing me!  
Give me a better understanding. 
​There is more to it than Freedom.  
It isn't that easy."


There isn't more than Freedom, and it isn't that easy.

Freedom isn't something you read and learn from books, it is learned from experiencing all life has to offer while remaining non-judgemental, un-affected by the illusion seeming negativity.

 


I'm only willing to hear you cry
Because I am an innocent man
I am an innocent man
Oh yes I am


"Yeah, well being Human isn't as fun as you portend it to be. 
There are no college bills due in Heaven.."


You know you only hurt yourself out of spite
I guess you'd rather be a martyr tonight
That's your decision
But I'm not below
Anybody, I know
If there's a chance of resurrecting a love
I'm not above going back to the start
To find out where the heartache began


Apparent Negativity, senseless worry, fear, living in the Ego mind is not Freedom, it isn't loving, it isn't SOUL.

"It is living in a material world in which we must live as humans to survive."

If all you want to do is survive, sure. 
I thought by now you understood Humans  are all here to thrive.

Some people hope for a miracle cure
Some people just accept the world as it is
But I'm not willing to lay down and die
Because I am an innocent man
I am an innocent man
Oh yes I am
An innocent man


"What are you attempting to convey?!"

I am an innocent man
Oh yes I am
An innocent man



"Are you telling me YOU are the innocent man?!"

No, I am telling you, YOU are the innocent man.











2 Comments

Do You See What I See?

12/23/2018

1 Comment

 
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“Why did I never see this ornament before?”  
“Have you always had it?” my girlfriend asked during our annual Christmas get together.

“For years” I replied.  
“It was my grandmother’s, and when she passed, I took a few of the ornaments she loved for my tree.”

“Wow!  I never noticed it before, and I always come by to see your tree!”

“Why is that?”

Why is that?  The simple answer, I believe, is because we don’t look.

We see the beautiful colors of the tree and notice the ornaments quickly in the same way we discern the rain, the snow, the trees, the grass, the sun, and the moon.  

We see the terrain in front of us in a significant form.  We notice the mountains and the stars without much thought.  We notice every aspect of what we see, but do we really look?

It is so easy to see without looking.  To live without living and the be without being.  

It is in the details we get lost…

I am guilty of this practice far too often.  
I have to catch myself daily to step away from the grand picture and focus on the minute.

To see the ornaments in all their glory, with their stories, memories, hopes, and history rather than the Christmas Tree as a whole.  

I have to remind myself when I am concerned with the next big step to make sure I tie my shoes first.  

I have to remember when I see something beautiful the detail inside of that beauty.

Seasons remind us of the natural cycle of life in which all comes together in a magical display only through the tiniest of detail.  

The snowflakes blanket our lands but only under a microscope do we see their magnificence.  

The sun shines down upon us in the heat of the summer, but only when a rainbow appears after a rain shower does we see the miracle of light.

The colors of the fall take our breath away, but do we stop to smell the fall?  Hear the crackle of the leaves under our feet, and the see the color of each leave fallen?

Flowers bloom in the spring but not before the first sprout of green begins.

We are always thinking ahead...thinking what is next, where do I go, how will I get there and a billion other really useless questions that somehow garner much more attention than they deserve.

What deserves our attention is the details, the moments, the microscopic details that forge our lives.  
We are so enthralled by the “big-ness” of life that we sometimes trample over the foundations of it. 

My friend and I chatted about what we think next year will hold for us and then, after our chat we laughed about how it will be so different than what we believe because we can look at the canvas our minds eye will show us, but the details man, those pesky details are what is running the show.  

My resolution for 2019 is nothing grand at all.  
I am not vision boarding a successful business, money in the bank, friends at the dinner table, family around the hearth.  
I am not resolving to lose weight, exercise more, do more or be more.

I resolve to notice the Angel in the details.   

I resolve to see the aphids on my roses in the spring...and dowse them with dishwater..darn things love my white roses.
To see the rainbow in the raindrop shimmering off the spruce tree needles in the summer. 
To see the designs of snowflakes frozen on my window in the morning before scraping them off.  I do need to drive to work….
To hear the crackle of life under my feet when I walk.
To see the bees gathering nectar from the bushes outside my window as well as recognize the buzz of the hummingbirds rather than just noticing their beauty.

I resolve to take tiny steps on my journey.  
Hear each note the Universe plays, see each sun ray sent my way.

I resolve to BE without worry of BEING.  

I resolve to breathe more deeply because in the exhale the world becomes a better place.

I resolve to take these three pills of health daily.  Stillness, Spaciousness, and Silence.  

May 2019 be a blessing of peace to us all and may your resolutions be detailed.  
1 Comment

Lemon Trees in Soil.

11/11/2018

6 Comments

 
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Years ago I offered profound wisdom to my eldest niece, Court,  when she was having difficulties.  

She was trying to understand some circumstances in her life in which she wasn't sure if it was "her" or "them" and how to determine the difference.

My words of wisdom were simple;
"A pound of shit with a pound of sugar on it is still shit." "Your job is not to taste it,no matter how tempting it looks and to not step in it."

A few nights ago she called looking for some Aunty advice and support which needed a bit more thought than my usual quick thinking, Super Aunty Gemini, glib bumper-sticker statement.

This time she needed Aunt Jennifer and damn did that scare me.  

This kid is my Superstar.

She has a strong will, a kind heart, a go for it attitude, just enough sass and ego, and the stature of a fairy complete with pink hair.  
Or is it orange this week...or yellow.  

I can never keep up with her hairstyles or her tattoos which only serve to define her magical nature.She  is an exemplary example of the phrase "when life gives you lemons you make lemonade." 
 
She not only made lemonade, but she also sweetened it with two gorgeous children, (with the help of her husband),  a career as a highly in-demand stylist/colorist on a rock we all know as Hawaii.
  
Yes, she made very delicious lemonade from some horrifically tart lemons. 
This is why when she asks me for support and advice, she gets 1000 percent of me.

This phone call centered around her beginning to understand that sometimes, no matter how much we try, we will inevitably step in the shit of our own making and it will prove to be the most perfect soil to grow from.

See, many times we make a choice or do an action that causes a crack in our well-constructed foundation that will require more than a plop of cement on the masonry.
   
It requires a complete teardown and rebuild.

This is when we take that shit, mix it with some of that soil we had built our foundation on and grow a brand new lemon tree!

Yes, damn it, a lemon tree, because you know what?  
You can add sugar to lemons and make a sweet tea, or you can be bitter, resentful and stagnant with puckered lips because your tea is sour. 

Your choice.  
Aunty advice at its finest right there...

My niece, like so many of us right now, is starting to understand how to blend her past and her present to create her future. 

She understands that mistakes are not costly when you choose to grow from them and bad choices are only bad when you don't take the time to understand why they were made.
  
In the same way that history is destined to repeat itself, so will our past in the decisions we make until we learn from it.
  
We have triggers from our past that have the power to destroy our carefully built foundations.  

They can rip at our hearts, our minds, our souls, churning up our inner demons that have outgrown the small garden space we allow them to grow in our beings.  

It is at this moment, we feel the shift of wisdom gently weed out that demon and replace it with a new seed of ourselves.   

Rich in shit, watered with our tears, fed with our desires and out of that seed, a new way of thinking, seeing, living, being, emerges and with this wisdom we are able to make better choices that feed us, nourish us and heal us and help us decide who and what we will allow to trigger us in the future.

We need to have fertile soil to grow steadily, but we can decide who and where we get that soil from.

We can let those who trigger us go.  
We can work with our inner child to heal much of our scars.
We can choose to love ourselves far more than we need others to like us.
We can let go to let in.  
We can walk new paths and dream new dreams and every now and then, get a new pair of shoes because we stepped in some do-do again.

My niece is my Superstar, and her soil is suddenly very well manured for her growth. 

I am sad for her pain, concerned for the depth of potholes on her path, hoping her map becomes clear, praying the sun and moon offer bright lights for her to follow,  but most importantly grateful I have a front row seat to watch her bloom.
6 Comments

Showing Up

11/1/2018

1 Comment

 
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Have you ever watched a child take its first steps? 
More so, participated in the coaxing of that child's first steps?

Remember back to the cheering, the praise, the excitement, and anticipation of those first 3 or 4 steps.
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"You can do it"!

"I've got you"!

"Keep going"!

"Get back up, come to me"!

Each time the child stops, falls, pauses, cries, there you are, lending support, cheering, loving, being there, celebrating.

Inevitably after a short time of practice, that little rascal begins on a path of curiosity, mischief, wonder, destruction, (child proof locks, anyone), scrapes and bruises and a lifelong of peaks and valleys, planes, trains, and automobiles.  

In that monumental moment, a toddler was born.  A significant life change, pivotal in the entire trajectory of that child's life, but all we see is a baby taking his or her first steps, captured in our memory, stored on marshmallow.  

At that moment we are happy, the baby, now blooming toddler, awestruck at its achievement. 
Exhausted by the effort. 
​In awe of its feet, which by now has chosen to chew on.

Yes, the very beginning of self-exploration.   
Freedom from the protective baby front-pack, the jolly jumper, stroller, arms.  

Freedom to GO!  

That baby didn't make a chart, write the pros and cons, ask for help, permission, speak to its therapist if now is the right time to attempt walking, check tarot or meditate on the issue.  
Nope.  
That baby gave it a shot after observing others and when the time felt right, showed up.

Yeah, the kid showed up.  
The kid took a breath, stood up, waited, held on, pushed off, and went for it.  The kid showed up when the time was right.  
Bravo little person!  Bravo!  
Keep going!

Baby steps don't end when you learn to walk.  
Nope, that is when they begin.  
Each journey, each dream, each day begins with a step, and when the time is right, we need to take them.

It is so easy to forget the baby inside of each of us.  
We may age, we may not dribble out of a sippy cup anymore, and thankfully we can stop eating creamed spinach out of a jar, but we are still taking baby steps every day.  
We are still figuring out how to be toddlers without childproof locks.  
​We are scared, we are afraid to fall, we are in need of encouragement, we are curious, and we are always free to choose our journey, and those who are really, really good at yoga can most likely still chew on their feet.  

The difference is, are we showing up?

Are we taking that breath and showing up for ourselves or are we pausing?  

Are we not paying attention to the timing and letting time fly past us?

There will be times we need to pause, to seek help, to find strength outside of ourselves, but more often than not, we just need to show up.  

Show up for the journey.

What steps do you need to take?  

What are you going to show up for?

When are you going to take that first step?

How about today.  The Universe has your back..take a step.  




















1 Comment

A Blanket of Love

10/22/2018

1 Comment

 
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I've been pondering again. 

Pondering is one of my favorite pastimes as it can be done while doing almost anything else.   

I can cook, clean, work, watch tv, lose at fantasy football every Sunday, talk with my husband, hang with my friends, garden, journal, even begin meditation while continually pondering some thought that wanders in and out rather than being present, in the moment, in the miraculous space of now.  

Yup...I ponder, and I did it again this morning while dogging my morning meditation, only this time it yielded some real fruit.
This morning, while aimlessly finding reasons to be way too busy to park my ass and meditate I wandered upon my boy, Roy.  

Roy. An Olde English Bulldogge with the peaceful soul of Buddha, the whimsical sparkly eyes of a child at play and allergic skin reactions that erupt faster than a pissed Mother Nature pointing her rage at the Hawaiian Volcano, Kilauea, on a dreadful day.

My Roy, the soul of a saint, the skin of a devil, a constant reminder that the two continually need to be monitored.

His skin is better today, thanks for asking, his ninety lb.  body plopped comfortably on the couch enjoying a much-needed nap after his full 
9 hours of sleep in which he awoke from just an hour prior.  

His ability to plop anywhere at any time began my ponder for which I am quite grateful.

This has been a year of much movement, much change, much chaos, much angst, and much joy.  

As all years past and all years future, there is a cycle, a wheel that turns and with each turn we are, as individuals in our own personal lives,  either up, down or somewhere in the middle.  

This year tended to begin down, moving to the middle, and finally a bit towards up. 
It is the moving up that worries most of my clients and truth be told, myself as well.   

The fear of change, of movement, of forwarding progress, seems to scare most of us more than being down or somewhere in the middle and that, the being comfortable in the down and uncomfortable in the up  is what makes me ponder and clients ask "How"? More often than usual.  

"How do you, how do I, how does it, how, how, how...."  

Once again, an answer came in the purest form.  Roy.

Little Roy, plopped on the couch allowing whatever will be, to be.  

Patiently allowing this crazy lady who calls herself his mom, run around his home, talking to no-one and always way too loudly, do her stuff while staying comfortably plopped. 

Observing with one eye opened while I begin dusting dog hair from the floor that will never be without it, and then running up and down the stairs for what seems to be without reason other than to swear when I slip on them.  

Quietly observing me pouring a cup of coffee that I really, really don't need, recognizing my already heightened intensity, all while knowing I will inevitably leave the cup of too much hype somewhere it doesn't belong while asking a million times to the no-one who is listening "what the hell did I do with my coffee?" 

Roy, who no matter how red his newly infected ear is, how painful his paw is from another mysteriously erupted sore or how itchy he may be from yet another dry spot on his precious skin, sleeps peacefully knowing he is safe.

This is WHY  I KNOW the HOW.  

Roy knows the HOW.  

Love is how.  

Roy knows that he is loved so much that all of his needs will be met and all he has to do is relax, and all will be given to him.  He will get fed, he will get his medicine,  lots of exercise and pats on the head, coconut oil rubbed on his skin, blankets on the couch.  His needs always, as if by some miracle,  met.  

He has an unconditional love who takes care of him.  
He doesn't have to know my name, he doesn't have to pray to me, he doesn't have to beg, plead or even please me to be loved.  

He just is.

So am I, so are we.

Loved unconditionally. 

My love for Roy is so abundant, so deep,  I intuitively know what he needs without him asking and his ability to KNOW this love is so deep, so real that he never, ever asks WHY. 

He just KNOWS.

All of Roy's needs are met without him doing much.  

He gets up for food, lies down for a blanket, barks to be let out, gives kisses for a treat.

There are times when he is uncomfortable with his allergies.  
There are times when he may be hungry, and there are times when he may feel a bit lonely. 

Sometimes when the lightning is too close to home, he gets scared, and sometimes he doesn't have an immediate response to his barks, but he ALWAYS gets what he needs and wants in what may seem like forever to him, but really, is just a moment or two in the grand scheme of things.
  
No matter what is going on in life, with a little effort, a small gesture, a quick prayer, a short bark, the HOWS will always be met in the most miraculous ways.  

That LOVE, the love Roy knows, comes from the LOVE that loves me. 
​It is me.  
That LOVE loves all of us unconditionally.
The Love that made us is the Love that lives through us. 
That LOVE is US!  

No matter the wheel of fortunes cycle, I am loved, we are loved. 
We can relax into the knowing that the HOW will be taken care of by Love that loves us unconditionally and will respond to all of our desires, needs, wants, hopes and barks when the time is right, and all we have to do is relax into it.  





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The road not travelled

9/25/2018

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​Sometimes I forget where I am presently and how I got here. 
I forget that I am a psychic,  
I forget I am a medium,
I forget I am a healer. 
I like forgetting sometimes. 

There are times I ignore it all and drive along my road without a thought of where I am, where I was, where I am heading, and how I got on the road in the first place. 

It is actually easier to forget, quieter, less stressful, less demanding than notice the road I am traveling on.

This happened to me last Sunday when one of my most fabulous friends and I were heading to Chatham to put the finishing touches on what I lovingly refer to as my "Spirit Studio."  

As we casually drifted over the mountain from MA to NY, we happily chatted about our families, our jobs, our friends, our plans, football, and hypnosis. 

I mentioned that I took a hypnosis course to help people get into a quieter state while treating them using Emotional Freedom Techniques, EFT for short, for pain relief, PTSD, weight loss, etc. 

She laughed out loud and exclaimed, "Is there anything you can't do?!"

I giggled back and said, "plenty."  

After a moment or two she pensively turned towards me and said, "no, really, is there anything you can't do?"

The thoughtfulness of her words, coupled with the softer tone of her voice, made me pause and rethink her question. 
Again, I responded as I had the first time she asked with "plenty" and I meant it.  

I can't settle into who I am.
I can't be comfortable with what I do. 
I can't explain what I see.   
I can't vocalize what I hear without my voice quivering.
I can't stop my heart from racing before each client walks through my door. 
I can't seem to keep my eyes dry when I hear a loved one tell my client they love them and miss them. 
I can't not react to the seesaw of emotions of my clients during a session. 
I can't control the pain in my body when my "friends" on the other side show me how or what they have died from. 
If your loved one smoked, I would cough. 
If your loved one suffered, I will for a moment too. 
If they saw it, I see it.  If it mattered to them, it matters to me. 
I can't always turn it off, but I am learning to dim it down. 
I can't stop yearning to help, to be better, to be "good" or "right" or "legitimate."
I can't do a lot,

There is plenty I can't do, but what I can do is continue following the road I've been detoured on.  

Being a Medium, better yet, admitting to being a Medium is not a road I found on a map and decided to sightsee on. 

As a matter of fact, I wasn't even aware I was a Medium until I got a phone call from a potential client asking me for a psychic reading because one of her friends got a "reading" from me during one of her massages.   
Of course  I laughed it away questioning Bonnie, "What is she thinking? I am not a Medium!"

Oh, I dabbled in tarot as a teenager and young adult.  

I prided myself on "knowing" before others and I even knew I was psychic my entire life. 
Of course now I know we all are, but for a bit, I was "special."

Being a Medium, that is a whole lot different than tossing a card or two on a table in front of a living person and playing the psychic game.

Being a Medium is a deep, often lonely transformation from ego to soul in which I could not have prepared myself for had I been told what was happening.  

Thankfully, for me at least, it was a slow process.

I would tell people what I saw while I massaged them not really knowing what I was doing other than being the chatterbox I am known to be.  
I would see a photo in my head and talk about it.  
Hear a few words and ask questions about it.
My jaw would ache if I didn't say anything or I would drool.  
Yup, drool on the client lying on the table....not good for business.
Eventually I realized I had to come clean with what I saw or wear a bib for the rest of my life.  I hate bibs.

That first phone call was the catalyst that put me in the passenger seat of the Universe's Prius on a blindingly bright road without a seat belt. 

A journey of healing, love, upliftment, sadness, fear, confusion and in the end gratitude.    

This ride I may never be able to understand and will always be slightly afraid of. 

Who am I fooling, terrified of.

​A yearning to be more than who I am, to be more than who I dream I can be, and to hold onto a light that if I look too closely into, may absorb me completely.  

An easier road is where I was found, but this road is where I belong. 

Travelling any other road, the road not travelled,  is something else I can't do, but that I can be ok with.
​



​





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Spooky rooms

9/18/2018

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Sometimes rooms are spooky. 

Even in our own homes, in the middle of the night, or first thing in the morning, during a thunderstorm, snowstorm, power outage, our own home can give us a feeling of unease.  

As children, we imagine all sorts of funky and wild things happening under our beds and in our closets.  
As adults it is no different, we get spooked, and our hair raises, our hearts beat wildly, our breathing becomes quickened, we go into defense mode.



We freeze.  

We offer a quick prayer and usually, for me at least, a prompt promise to Heaven above "God, If you save my ass right now, I will ......."  
I tend to get a little extreme when I am frightened, so my promises are really, really big.  


Being in this state can last a moment or a million moments, and as time tends to stand still when our fear is heightened, it really doesn't matter.  
We are spooked, we are defensive, we are sweating, and we do not see the whole picture.  


Until of course, we turn on the lights.
  
Bright, beautiful, blinding light illuminating our surroundings, dissolving our fears.  

Just like that, a flip of a switch and some sort of wire voodoo in the walls of our home bring us back to the reality that we are indeed safe and just a little bit foolish for allowing our imaginations get the better of us.

Dreams, desires, wants, hopes, chances, personal needs....these are our spooky rooms. 


Our hopes and dreams, our deepest desires, the longings of purpose can send our hearts racing and palms sweating.  

We take that first step into our dream and immediately feel the ground soften under our feet, thinking it is quicksand we jump right the hell out of it and run to safety before realizing it is perfected, rich and fertile soil to grow in.  

We open the door to our desires and hear the boogeyman growl, so we immediately slam it shut before realizing it is our own voice telling us to stay safe, stay small, stay complacent.

We long for something...anything.....yet we don't stop doing what we don't love to know what we do love.  
We conform to the world around us instead of creating the world we choose to live in.   


We keep busy to keep safe.  

We talk about everything that matters little and look for guidance and wisdom from others, from outside of us rather than allowing ourselves to emerge as the wise warriors we genuinely are.  

We allow ourselves little freedom by living under conditions we have grown accustomed to without any real thought as to why.  We live in spooky rooms.  

We live as we have learned.  

We are who we think we should be based on our human thoughts,  rather than what we really are. 
​We live in wooden homes with contained elements that turn on and off with the flip of a switch.  


We allow ourselves to dream only in our sleep and if we find ourselves frightened, we flip a switch to illuminate the room to erase our fears, and we go back to our beds and dream of living.  

We live in spooky rooms.  

But we don't have to.  

We can use our imagination and our fears to raise us out of our sleepy, fearful life.  

We can LIVE with our feet touching the earth knowing it is soft for our users to grow our own gardens,  and our souls can awaken our ego to the beauty of Mother Nature and all of her glory.   

We do not need to live in spooky rooms when we have the sun to warm us and the moon to guide us. 

We don't need to switch on a light for illumination, we are the light in which we seek. 

Listen to the fear when you open the door..what is it saying?  

Why is it saying it?  

Don't slam the door, jump into it!  

Complacency and mediocrity are our bogeymen, shut them out, not life. 


We can be free of the spooky room we have created to keep us safe by living on the edge of our comfort zones.  

When something sparks us, feel it.  
When we hear a voice, listen to it, when we are scared, ask why.  
When we are shaky about our next step, embrace it!   


Allow the sun to feed our bodies during the day and the moon to guide our souls dreams at night. 


When we are shaky about our next step, embrace it!  
The soil of our life is supposed to be dark, creamy, soft, wet, and easily pliable. 

Without great soil, the sun, and the moon how else would we bloom?
 


​ 



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Cathedral of Our Soul

4/16/2018

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It's a funny card, this 4 of Swords.  At first glance I thought,  this poor, exhausted knight, sleeping in the sanctuary of his beloved and trusted church is going to be killed by his swords.  I always imagined this would be a very unpleasant occurrence for a knight who apparently has faith in his work and trust in his God. 
Seemed harsh. 

Then, I looked at this card.  I began to examine the surroundings of this knight, the colors of his bed, his clothes, his surroundings.   The incredibly beautiful symbolism of this card.  What was the actual meaning conveyed in this pure artistry?  

Of course, I could look the meaning up in my handy dandy library of tarot books or on the numerous sites available on Google, but alas,
I don't do easy.  
It is a curse as well as a gift this "take the long way home" brain of mine. 
Where a dull pencil and ruler would result in one nail hole to hang a picture, I choose to make roughly six nail holes. 
​ When using GPS would make for a more comfortable trip, I decided to take numerous paths just to make sure I know all the ways to get there...
I decided to absorb all this card was saying to me over the course of a few days. 
Thinking over and over and over about the meaning and how it would portray in my life and the lives of others. 
Each client became the sleeping knight.
I wondered what would make someone sleep, in a church, on a golden pillow, below a beautiful stained glass window with swords over his head. 
Maybe he's dead.

What is he thinking?

He's NOT thinking.
He's NOT praying.
He's NOT sleeping.
He's NOT under his swords.
He's NOT dead.
He's RECHARGING his soul.
The Knight has absolute faith in his souls work and while all souls are meant to thrive there is an element of struggle and battle. 
You are a soul having a human experience. 
You know this, you preach this, the knight never forgets this. 
The knight places his swords on the wall of his temple. He rests on the bed he has created in his temple. 
He places his one golden sword beside him while he lies contentedly, prayer hands, face up,  in the golden glow of Angels and Illumination. 
He knows that it is in these times of complete faith, he will know his next step.  He meditates in the Cathedral of his soul. Aligning himself with all that is and all that will ever be. 
I AM


Yes!  Of course. 
The 4 of Swords reminds us to put down the swords. 
The battle well fought and the victory sweet. 
The time now is to rest, recover, rejuvenate, grow. 
This card reminds us that, in the words of my Spiritual teacher, Michael Bernard Beckwith, 
We are at a choice-point in every moment of each circumstance, each activity, spoken word, and thought.
Do we live in a minefield or a garden?
When we live in a minefield mentality, we explode with the weeds of worry, doubt, fear, lack, and limitation.
We must choose to cultivate our inner garden.
We must stop looking outside for help. We are sourced and fuelled and funded by a renewable resource, which is within us. 
It never runs out.
It is the Essence of our lives, and the universe corresponds to the nature of our song.” 
Go within now.  
Have faith in all that is and all that will be.
Allow your soul's growth to take form in whichever way it shows itself.
Align yourself with your SOUL-self.
Do it now.  


Jennifer Belanger is an
~Intuitive Tarot Reader~ Medium~ 
~Certified Chakra Therapist~
~Certified Energy Therapist~Licensed Massage Therapist~EFT Practitioner
who specializes in Body and Soul Therapies
​

If you would like to work/consult with Jennifer please 
Contact and 
Schedule your appointment with Bonnie at

413-499-2419


​


















​


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When Muscles and Soul Connect.

4/5/2018

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"Why is my neck not getting any better?"
"I can't keep my shoulders down!"
"This pain is starting to kill me."

Yeah, I know.  
My hands need some ice and love from all these necks and shoulders visiting my table. 
"So, what more are you doing for yourself other than a massage?"

"What can I do?  If you can't fix this problem, then no-one can."

"Let's examine what is happening or has happened in your life that could be a factor in your muscles."

This conversation is almost daily in my practice.  
It is a double-edged sword for a massage therapist.  
Yes, we love working on those tight muscles and would be standing in the unemployment office if we didn't have clients with "issues in their tissues," but we also want to see our clients be pain-free as well.

At this point,  is where our life and our muscles meet. 
When the soul is ignored long enough, it starts speaking with pain.
​Continual pain that is not from a recent injury or response to a specific situation, sleeping on the couch, painting a ceiling, outdoor activities, etc. are most likely responses from years of pent up emotional pain. Pain that you are now facing but are not able to escape from are emotions that have nowhere to express themselves, or worse, being ignored.

A person who has had a  traumatic, difficult, angry childhood will be more likely to have low back pain, where the Root and Sacral Chakras are located.  
Our Root Chakra and Sacral Chakra represent the "Who am I and Where do I belong to my tribe?" that we learn from birth into our early teens.  
When this Chakra isn't functioning correctly, the pain will become present.

A person who has mid back problems will in many cases be suffering from a broken heart or have a lack of self-worth. 
The "being kicked in the gut" feeling causes a ton of mid back and stomach area pain.  
Hello, Solar Plexus, are you talking to me?

Those who have neck and shoulder problems were very likely not heard as children and young adults were not respected for their words or felt silenced in some way.  
When the Throat Chakra is not functioning well, teeth, neck, shoulders, sinus', chest pain will become a chronic issue. 

Headaches?  
What are your thoughts saying to you?  
Are you or someone else pounding something into your head? 
Your Third Eye is looking for some attention.

Did you ever wake up with excruciating pain in your hip for no reason?  What are you holding back?  Where are you unable to move forward or who/ what are you unable to walk away from?

Knee pain?  "Are you becoming stuck?"  "Where do you to become more flexible?"

​Are your eyes tired? Dry? Itchy? 
"What are you not seeing?"  
"Where are you not looking or looking?"  

These are just a few examples of how chronic pain is an expression of Soul.

The Soul will continue to express itself to you; you must continue to learn and grow.   
Growth is why we are humans.  
Why we are Souls incarnate into a human body.  
Our body temple and our Soul will always work together to bring about our highest self.  
No matter how much it hurts. 


​


Jennifer Belanger is a
Certified Chakra Therapist~
Energy Therapist~Licensed Massage Therapist
who specializes in Body and Soul Therapies
​

If you would like to learn more about the Chakra/Muscle/Soul Connection
and how to break through chronic pain
Schedule your appointment at
413-499-2419
 




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Week of 4/1 - 4/7 Tarot Reading

4/1/2018

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Happy April!

Sunday brings us the Knight of Cups,

With all his lovely energy, the Knight of Cups reminds us that nothing, and I mean nothing, is more worth fighting for than love.  Love flowing through us is as important as the blood flowing through our veins.  As a matter of fact, love is the blood flowing through our veins.  It is what keeps us breathing, what keeps us passionate, excited, happy, moving, alive.  Love is who we are and Sunday we will know be reminded of this.

Question:  How do you give and receive love? 
Do you recognize love around you and within you?


Monday brings us the 10 of Cups. 

Oh, what a wonderful day filled with joy, peace, laughing and happy children, rainbows glowing down on us, love filling the air.  All of our dreams, hope and desires have been met and we are feeling pretty fulfilled.  Enjoy this energy.  It doesn't come often, but when it does, man oh man is it a wonderful world!

Question:  How can you allow yourself to overflow with joy? 
What part of this joy did you partake in?


Tuesday brings us the Magician.

What kind of magic will; you inspire today?  Will you finally learn to balance yourself in all elements of the Universe?  Will you learn that your emotional, physical, mental, spiritual, earthly you is all you will ever need to live a magically inspired life?  The Magician brings new ways of making life work.  Your life work.  Using all the tools in which he was born with, the Magician show us that infinite life is possible on Earth as it is in Heaven.  This is the day to manifest your vision to life?  You have to BE it to SEE it.


Question:  How are you using your innate gifts to create your vision? 
Do you manifest your life or do you allow others to manifest for you?

Wednesday brings us the Fool.

With all this love, the happiness, this new found knowledge of all we are is within us, we are ready to embark on a new path.  A path in which we may not know where we are headed or what we will find, but we have all we need in our little red pouch to set us on a grand adventure.  Today we take a step into the unknown fearlessly and effortlessly.


Question:  Where are you headed today?  
Are you filled with fear or are you the glorious fool who knows nothing can stop him?

Thursday brings us the King of Wands.

This King is all about action.  Inspired action.  He knows that whatever the problem, whatever the issue it can be solved by right action.  He knows that in order to live a life worth living you must not only look for opportunities, you must act on them.  This is the day to "grab the bull by the horns and move forward."

Question:  What have you decided to DO?  

What are you now growing in your life?

Friday brings us the Queen of Wands.

The Queen tells us to nurture our ideas with action and thought.  She reminds us that in the light of day we can see growth, but her black cat reminds us that growth also happens in the dark.  We need light and dark to be in perfect balance.  Use your alchemy skills to blend and balance.

Question:  Do you have a good balance between work and play? 
Do you take the time to nurture your dreams and blend them with your daily activities?  


Saturday brings us The High Priestess

This is the card of mysteries and intuition.  This card tells us it is time to use our intuition, our gifts, abilities, spirituality to round out this week of movement and manifestation.  Continue to follow your instincts, your soul.  Continue to meditate, imagine, manifest, move, do and create with love the life you alone chose to live. 

Question:  What do you intuitively know is in your highest and best good for you right now?
What mysteries are within you that are seeking to emerge?



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Tarot for the week of 3/26-4/1

3/26/2018

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The Week ahead in Tarot

Monday the Page of Pentacles tells us it is time to actively prepare for the week ahead and beyond.  Use this young energy to imagine your week as well as your future and plant those seeds! This is the Law of Attraction Card. “ You have to be it, to see it.”

Question:  "What would I like my life to look like one year from today and what do I need to "see" and "plant" to  be it?"

Tuesday tells us with the Ace of Cups that you are pouring over emotionally and it is all good!  Give and receive love today.  It’s the beginning of a happy, joyous time to open up those feelings again.

Question:  "How have I been closed up, emotionally and what will I now open my heart to?"
"What am I requiring to feel fulfilled emotionally?"


Wednesday tells us to put those wands down.  Nothing is ever productive from the 5 of Wands until someone says no more.  Today is your NO MORE day.  Walk away.  It is not worth the constant battle.

Question: "What situations no longer work for me in my life and what am I now willing and able to walk away from?" 

Thursday comes with a teaching moment.  Listen to the wise guidance of the Hierophant who will steer you right.  If you need legal advice, financial advice, career advice, spiritual or love, this is the day to seek and listen. 
Question:  "What is it I am listening to?"  "Is it nurturing? Calming? Abusive? Angry? Happy? Helpful?"
"Is the advice I am receiving for my highest and best good?"
"Is the advice I give for the highest and best good?"

Friday brings us Justice.  All that planning, all that love, walking away from the fight, listening to the wisdom of another culminates in a fair and balanced outcome and future.  Justice is here to tell us we may love it or hate it, but it will be fair. 

Question: "Where do I need to have fair, just, right and balanced circumstances in my life?"

Saturday sparks our creative energy with the Page of Wands.  This is the perfect time to bring forth your inner confidence!  You know that phrase “fake it ‘till you make it?”  Yeah, you’ve got this!  Get that orange cape on and be center stage today!

Question: "How can I bring creativity, confidence, "swagger" into my life today and always?"

Sunday brings balance to us in a beautiful way.  We find peace in ourselves, in our relationships, in our careers, in our home, in all areas of our lives.  The Two of Cups could take the form of a new partnership/love as well, but based on the weeks cards, I believe it is an amazingly peaceful balance within yourself as well as your outward life.

Question: "Am in harmonious with myself?"
"Where in my life should I use love to bring about harmonious partnerships?"


It is going to be a very productive week with much positive movement, much love, much understanding, much activity, much peace of heart and justice for all.

If you would like a private reading, please call Bonnie to schedule at 413499-2419
or order a reading delivered to your e-mail box at https://www.energytouchintuition.com

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What does Tarot say?  Early Spring Reading.

3/20/2018

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​Wondering what early Spring has in store for us?
Me too, so I asked the Tarot!


The Queen of Swords is telling us that it is time to cut through any drama, any worries, any issues that are holding us back from living our truest potential.
The Queen of Swords uses intellect in all she does and inspires us to remove the emotion and embrace the intellect. She is sassy, she is brilliant, she is a puzzle solver, she is a visionary and she could care less about what anyone thinks and never, ever will let anyone get in her way. 
She is focused on the Ace of Cups which tells us that a new love, not necessarily a personal love, but a beginning of something that we "fall in love with" causes us to overflow with passion, inspiration, excitement, and wonderment of what could be.
This could take form in a new relationship, new career, new home, new move, new idea, new anything that sets our hearts on fire and gets those emotional juices of creativity moving. 
This hand that offers us this new passion is also guiding us to take the first step into whatever brings you alive. 
This is the hand of the Universe, my friends, and when the Universe hands you a cup, you drink from it!
 The 9 of Wands is also facing the Ace of Cups.
This fine gentleman has seen his fair share of the battle.
He's been through it and he has won or at least is still standing. He is now ready for a change.
He is ready to leave the craziness behind him. 
He is going to embrace his inner Queen of Swords, drop his stick, take some aspirin for his headache, or better yet, get a Chiropractic adjustment and Massage and go move towards the Universal Cup of Happiness! 
Wands are action cards that are also Spring timing, so take action, cut through the fear with that sword and grab hold of this new opportunity that is being offered to you.
​The time for planting seeds of change is now!


Happy Spring, everyone. See you when the sprouts appear.


If you would like a personal Intuitive Tarot reading, 
Call me at 413-499-2419 
or
https://www.energytouchintuition.com



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Love is in the Air.

3/15/2018

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The winds of Spring are coming in, and so are the questions regarding love.  

Will I find love?
Will love find me?
What does my love life look like?
Can you.....LOVE!

What is that song?
 
"Love is a many splendor thing."

"Love is a many splendored thing
It's the April rose that only grows in the early Spring
Love is nature's way of giving a reason to be living
The golden crown that makes a man a king
Once on a high and windy hill, In the morning mist
Two lovers kissed, and the world stood still
Then your fingers touched my silent heart and taught it how to sing
Yes, true love's a many splendored thing...."

A Sinatra classic.  He sings it here.  

I've always been drawn to "Where do I begin?"

Theme from a Love Story?

Yes.  A real tear jerker.

"Where do I begin?
To tell the story of how great a love can be
The sweet love story that is older than the sea
The simple truth about the love he brings to me
Where do I start?
How long does it last?
Can love be measured by the hours in a day?
I have no answers now but this much I can say
I'm going to need him 'til the stars all burn away
And he'll be there...."

I love the music,
I love the sentiment.  
Love is a story that changes. 

Where do I begin?  

Tarot tells us the story of love. 
It can tell us about the new love that comes with the Ace of Cups. 
The simple union of love in the Two of Cups. 
The fiery passions that consume us as depicted with The Lovers. 
The devastation of love gone in the Five of Cups. 
Everlasting love in the Six of Cups, boredom in the 4 of Cups. 

Don't get me started on the Swords and love. 
They suck. 
Royaly.

Sometimes we ride the winds of Cups. 
Sometimes our hearts get diced by the Swords. 
Sometimes we embrace our inner Wands and fight to the bitter end, and sometimes we lose our way in the Pentacles. 

More often than not, we have a taste of it all. 

The highest ups, the lowest lows and the stable in-betweens weave through our relationships causing the story of love to change. 

How do we deal with it all? 
​
That is another Tarot story....


Ready for your story?  Check out my tarot offerings under the '3 Charms Online" page
or call Bonnie at 413-499-2419 to schedule an in office Tarot Reading.  



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Ovaries Before Brovaries

3/5/2018

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When I was first studying to be a Massage Therapist, about a million years ago, I mentioned to my instructor I had been seeing a lot of left shoulder injuries which struck me as peculiar, as my left shoulder too was acting up. 

She reminded me when therapists see a lot of the same injuries occurring in multiple people, it is a signal to pay attention to our own bodies as typically we are or will soon have a similar type of injury.


I chuckled and brushed it off as a bit of silliness, not really giving that statement much of my time.
I was young, I was beginning a new career, raising a family, fixing muscles and icing my left shoulder. Often.


Fast forward 20 years later and I now find myself chuckling at the silliness of not giving that statement much of my time. 
Of course, my instructor was right. 
Life reflects back to us what it is we are putting out. 
Life uses any tool available to get us to pay attention to our own lives in order to live more fully, more wholly.


More completely

To live a complete life.


So when I noticed the 3 of Cups turn up over and over again in almost all of the Tarot Readings during my 4-hour marathon “Ladies Night Out” benefit, on Friday evening, I paid attention.

The 3 of Cups; “Ovaries Before Brovaries”, as one of my Tarot teachers, Melissa Cynova loving calls this card, is the epitome of “Ladies Night Out”.

This card represents your tribe. 
That group of people that you know are family even if they aren’t blood. 
You made them your family, they made you theirs. 
They’ve got you back, you’ve got theirs. 
You laugh, you cry, you fight, you love, you drink, you drink more, you call cabs, you laugh more, but most importantly, you pick up the phone when they call and vice versa.


After calling it a night and thanking Lauren once again for saving my "no need to plan ahead" ass, I popped in some Lennon and drove home contemplating the event.


“Ovaries Before Brovaries” was my theme, “Stand by Me” and, “Nobody told me (there would be days like these)” were my songs, laughter was the mood.


I started thinking about how enriching my tribe is to my life. 
How much I relied on each and every one of them to be the parts of me that I may not always be able to be in order to be whole. 
Much like the 3 of Pentacles needs different craftsmen to finish the project, the 3 of Cups needs different people to complete US.


To understand we are all one, all connected, one on earth, as we are in Heaven.


I found myself in a state of gratitude that evening drive home. 
I thought of my tribe. My chosen family not of blood who, like patches on a big, beautiful, comfy quilt, bring complete and utter joy to whatever is happening in the world.


Lauren, who was my savior and wingman on Friday night, taking names, setting time limits and making me almost pee my pants with her dry sense of humor and wise-ass remarks. 
God, I love her.

Carolyn who was on a much-needed vacation in Punta Cana with her tribe and how much I wish she would eat more cookies so I wouldn’t be so damn jealous of how she looks in a bikini. 
Hell, how she can wear a bikini!


Samantha who was undoubtedly practicing for her “Night at the Oscars” show where her amazing voice would be center stage the following evening with tons of adoring fans wishing they had a voice of an Angel and a face of a Star.  


Donna who was under the weather that evening and wasn’t able to come out to the event, but would without fail,  text me the next day wanting to know every detail of my night as "Tarot Extraordinaire" and reprimand me for not getting e-mails from all who signed up for a reading.


Kristen who was in Florida getting much-needed vitamin D and continuing Ed credits. All of our hearts are grateful for her quiet, understated brilliance and dedication to her patients and friends.


Bonnie, who braved the winter weather to show her support and get a little pampering,  would tell me all that I missed that evening while Lauren had me on an every 10 minutes, no exception to the rule, one pee break schedule.


Kelly,  staying home because “unless there is a fire and the fireman breaks in to pull me off my couch, I do not go out on Fridays, but if you really need me I will."


Stacy, “not a chance in hell I’m going to go near a set of Tarot cards or the dead people you talk to, but I support you wanting to do that”.


To name just a few of the extraordinary women that I celebrate this journey with.  Who give me parts of themselves when I can't  find them in my own self.  They pick me up when I fall, carry me when I buckle under. 
Remind me to breathe.
These ladies love me even when I forget that I too deserve love, and always, and I mean always, have my back.



Yes, life will use whatever tool available to get our attention to what we most need to notice.


What did you need to notice?


Complete, whole, overwhelming gratitude for the way life loves me.

If you are interested in what the cards are seeking to reveal to you, give Bonnie a call to schedule your in office, 1 hour Tarot Card reading today.
413-499-2419
Online Readings
www.energytouchintuition.com


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When the Moon Beckons.

3/1/2018

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March is a funky kind of month.
​
It isn’t a full month of winter nor is it a full month of spring, it is both and depending on which way Mother Nature turns is anyone’s guess.

For me, March is the month that my son chose to come into my life. He was determined to be an April baby by my OBGYN and later discovered, by his weight and size, he should have been a February baby, so March he chose.
And as he would have it, March 16, 1993, the day Mother Nature decided to pummel us with a nor'easter that dumped 22 inches of snow on Pittsfield in 24 hours.
A storm that packed winds of up to 70 miles per hour, which helped create 10-foot snowdrifts, Alex surprised us with big brown eyes, 22 inches of length, 10lbs of weight and a Penis.
Yup, Alexandra became Alexander and that, my friends is how March
rolls.

March this time around, has begun with a full moon, which coincidentally corresponds with the Astrological sign of Pisces, which is represented by the Moon in Tarot.

March begins with a full moon this time around and just like March, the moon is a mystery to which we can only observe, never control. 

The Full moon in moody Pisces showing up in Funky March has my Angels and Guides telling me to lay low.
 
Don't take unnecessary steps, don't force any changes, don't open your mouth without a filter, don't post shit on Facebook you don't want your boss to see, your kids to see, your husband to see, your future grand kids to see... and most importantly, don't overthink. 

Be still.  Be Silent. Be Spacious.  


The Moon in Tarot tells us to pay attention to things that go bump in the night.

Yes, there is danger associated with this card and if the Moon and the Tower decide to combine with the 10 of Swords I am sure to lock myself in a windowless room and pull a blanket over my head until the apocalypse passes, but for now, it is just the Moon in moody Pisces we have to think about.


The Full Moon in March speaks of the final rest before seed time. This is the time to be still. Listen to those voices around us.
The one no one else but you hear. 
The voices in your head that never shut the hell up when you are trying to sleep voices.

Are those voices kind?

Loving and healing?

Encouraging and calming?

Do you recognize anyone in those voices? 
Maybe YOU?


What are YOU saying to YOU
when the moody Pisces moon shines?

March is a time to reflect on the past few months of winter and imagine the next few months of spring.
The full moon gives us the go ahead to intuitively settle into ourselves.

Our souls.

To focus on what still needs healing and protecting within yourself, your life, your home, your family, your friends.
To focus on the unfolding mysteries of life itself.

The moon gives us this chance to see, hear, listen, learn, understand what is kept out of the sunlight.
It offers us the darkness in which need to uncover the depths of our souls free from the glare of daylight.

The moon offers us a time to surprise ourselves with knowing that in this moment, in this time, we are richly preparing our soil,
discovering our seeds, uncovering our bulbs before the sun of April beckons us to another season of doing.

The moon tells us to “Stop trying to fix yourself...Start to See Yourself” and what better time to surprise yourself with the awareness of the unfolding mysteries of YOU than in Funky March.


If you are wondering what mysteries are waiting for you in March, think about scheduling an online or in person Intuitive Tarot Reading.  This months special Intuitive Tarot reading will be the
"Inner Healing Spread"
featured in  Llewellyn's 2018 Tarot Calendar for March
Purchase it on the Online Intuitive Page under Menu
$40
 

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Hey!  2018 you are off to a rocky start!

2/7/2018

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So far 2018 has been determined to shake us and shift us and un-root us in its efforts to "right our ships" so to say,  and I for one want to know when the waters will calm, so I asked Guidance for some answers as to what energies were we feeling, what energies we are entering, what energies will we soon be working with , and what advice do you have for it all that was, will be and is and how best to act with it.  

My first card is the Three of Cups. 
This card signifies the energy of our "tribe", be it our born family or the family we create with others who we've met along our journey, community, bonding, pledging, and an overall sense of having each others back.  This card is also very much about the woman.  "Ovaries before Brovaries" as my teacher of Tarot, Melissa Cynova, says. 

The second is the Queen of Swords.  She takes no prisoners, allows no excuses, takes no nonsense.  She is free of emotion, quick with the tongue and will only see the big picture.  She is super smart, genius really, she holds us accountable for our actions.  She could care less about our motivations or what happens to us because of our actions, but she loves us unconditionally.
She is the army behind you that has your back.  

The third card is the Three of Wands. 
This guy is the past, the present and the future all in one. 
He has his back to the past, has his grip on what he thinks is important and is looking at the next journey. 
The ships in the ocean are ready to sail with him as the captain, but he has to leave behind what is holding him back. That wand he is gripping...yeah, let it go.

The Third card is The Hanged Man. 
This guy has it going on.  He is chillin' before his next move.  Observing the world, checking out his surroundings, gaining wisdom, letting go of ego and allowing Divine to assist. 
This guy will cut himself down when he is ready, but right now, he is just hanging out.  I like to think of him as the "sitting at the dock of the bay" type of guy, but hanging from a tree.  

So, what does it all mean?

This reading tells me that while in the past, we were pretty happy, emotions and joyous celebrations for all, exuberance for life, for the journey,  with our accomplishments, our friends, our family, our tribe, the ground in which we celebrated on and built our lives upon, and the journey we were taking,  we soon started becoming  slaves to it. 

We stopped celebrating, seeking, exploring, learning, growing. 

We became so entrenched with our lives that we forgot that living was more important. 
The peaks and valleys that inspire us to forge on became overwhelming.  The Molehills became Mountains, the Yellow Brick Road lost its luster,  weeds of envy, greed, want, seclusion, and its ilk overtook our gardens of creative imagination, our innocence, our community, our connections were replaced with that which doesn't serve us. 

Now, at this time right now,  the Queen of Swords has come in to cut through this self created illusion and misguided actions. 
She doesn't want to hear our excuses, our reasons, our beliefs, our whatevers. 

She is righting our ships. 
She wants to teach us to hold on to what we value. 
Let go of beliefs and live with focused intention.
She is here with a big, bold, beautiful new picture and she is going to cut away all that no longer serves her vision.  Our vision. 
She doesn't care how much it hurts, she doesn't have the time nor the patience to wait around for us. 
She is here, she is determined and damn it, she loves us and she has our backs and that is that.  
She is pushing the baby birds out of the nest and we had better fly because face planting sucks. 

The Three of Wands is pulling us into that vision.  Into that big picture of what the Queen of Swords sees for us. 

Three's remind us that change is coming so find your stride and let's get to the core of the issue. 
Wands are brave, bold, enthusiastic, inventive, confident, inspiring, leaders, optimistic, risk-taking, undaunted.  Valiant.

The Three of Wands sees his future, his ideals, his dreams. 
He knows his values, knows his successes being played out before him, he is ready to take that step, he is almost there....his feet are ready to go, his mind, his ego needs to catch up.
   
He is almost ready to let go of whatever he thinks is holding him back.  He has let go of most of what holds him back, but is still clinging to that one thing.  His tribe holding him back?  His job? His circumstances?   Remember that Queen behind him?  She does not care what it is you think is holding you back, she will cut it down man, and if you bleed, oh well..that is the price of growth.  

The Outcome is the Hanged Man. 

Yup, all of this is happening and change, well, she is a coming, but this time, we are going to be ready.  We remember our innocence, our friendships and those who have our back no matter what. 
We remember the celebrations of life and the joy of living. 
We are coming back to our "soul selves".

We are Re-Membering.  

We will collect our thoughts using our Divine mind, not our human mind,  decide who is coming with us, what is coming with us, what are we taking, what are we leaving. 

We are integrating our emotions, our thoughts, our material needs and desires, we are being gel with our Mind, Body and Spirit. 

We are learning to be kind to ourselves during periods of change. 
​Learning to be patient with ourselves during periods of of turmoil. 
Learning to love ourselves through periods of chaos. 
We are finding balance in an often unbalanced world,  and more importantly, learning to trust in our own Divinity.
Embracing the understanding we Co-Create with that of which we are made in the likeness of. 
Yeah, we are going to chill in the knowledge that if we allow ourselves to hang there for a little while we will begin to walk in the awareness.  
Everything is working together for us right now.  We just have to let it happen.  Let the goodness, the happiness, the love emerge.
​
"Let it be alright, to be alright" ~Michael Bernard Beckwith

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~Alana Fairchild
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Walls & Doors

9/28/2017

1 Comment

 
A few months ago, during yet another chaotic political uproar, my son, Alex, who typically is the target of my "I don't understand" rants, quietly and patiently asked me "why does your generation continue to argue with walls?"

That sentenced stopped my rant for about 2 seconds and I, in my usual loud, confused and often hysterical way  proceeded with the "what would you say to..." - "wouldn't you...?" - and on and on until he once again, this time with a bit of cautionary irritation,  replied "I don't argue with walls." 

He doesn't argue with walls.
 
I can't argue with that. 
He gets his charming personality and stunningly good looks from me, his patience and wisdom,  not so much. 

I've learned when Alex talks, I listen, (after a few go around with myself),  which brings me to walls and doors. 

Once again the smoldering division in this country has been re-ignited by fingers and knees.  

Fingers belonging to a habitually mindless tweeting fool taking aim at a protest begun by an American of mixed race NFL player taking a knee during the National Anthem in pursuit of social justice for all.  

While Americans were still mourning and worrying about the destruction caused by Hurricane Harvey, Hurricane Irma, and Hurricane Maria, the embers were burning just enough to set aflame another path of destruction that didn't need Mother Nature's assistance to wreak damage of biblical proportions.  

No, this firestorm was reignited at the fingertips of an attention-grabbing, rating loving, draft-dodging hypocrite who chose to focus his attention not on those devastated by Mother Natures wrath, but on those who, in peaceful and constitutionally protected protest seeking social and racial justice for all.  

Once again, the man with dancing fingers decided to jitterbug on his Android inflammatory remarks against a certain group of Americans rather than recognizing the devastation of our American Territory, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands.  

Apparently kneeling on dry land is more dangerous to this country and its people than floods and hurricanes.  

We as a country stood toe to toe, flag to flag, white to black, belief to value, friend to friend, debating whether or not an American's right to peacefully protest racial and social injustices can be done on a football field.  

Puerto Rico, U.S. Virgin Islands, and its people don't hold a candle to a group of people on bent knee. 

The tweeting of a proud draft dodger have sent this country into a total divide and the NFL became its focal point because once again we have shown that we aren't capable of scratching the surface of an issue deeper than that of a scratch and sniff car deodorizer. 
 
The man with the dancing fingers once again used his childlike skill set to blast off a frenzy of brotherly hate in the heart of brotherly love.  

Yes, he decided to use this time of true peril to lead astray many with misguided tweets of patriotism. 
 
He sent his lit matchstick right into the hearts of those who believe in the representation of the flag and anthem in such a way that they forgot what it is they really value.  

See if we were to take a moment and really think about what we as a nation and whole value rather than what we believe we would quite possibly have had a different outcome.  

We have been led to believe that our flag is our country rather than the symbol of what our land, people, our constitution hold in value.   

Our country is valuable because of its people.  

Our Founding Fathers realized this and set forth to create a country that represents this in its constitution, not its flag.  

Our flag has changed many times over, our constitution has not.  
It still remains our constant north star.    

I have read and listened to many people on this matter and I have often found myself hearing the words that Alex said to me a few months back.  
He is right - there are people who are walls and will never be doors. 
They will believe what they believe and no matter what is presented to them.  

They value their beliefs more than they value their values. 

It pains me to hear the words and read the words that some seem to follow so closely and it pains me more to see the destruction that these words are leaving in their wake.  

It pains me to see how many people are walls in a world full of doors. 

Walls will tell you that an NFL player is "just a rich, ungrateful, paid entertainer" and therefore have no right to protest on the job.   
A door will remind you that athletes work extremely hard to hone their craft.  
Talent may be inherent, but without the will, drive, persistence, and determination the desire will never come to fruition with any person in any job with any talent. 
A door will also remind you to imagine a life without any form of entertainment, be it sports, Hollywood, toys, books, etc.  
Remember Burgermeister Meisterburger?  
I do.
I don't want to live under his rule.  

Walls will tell you that "kneeling is disrespecting our veterans" even though a large majority of veterans will tell you that peaceful protest in any form is absolutely appropriate and entirely what they value.  
A door will offer a glimpse into another point of view for consideration which would be kneeling is a form of humility.  
We kneel in reverence, we kneel in hope, we kneel in prayer, sickness, to Mother Earth herself while we plant our seeds every spring and hope for harvest every fall.  
​
Yes, we as a nation kneel when we are seeking answers, kneel when we are seeking help and hold out a hand to those who are rising up.

Walls will tell you that "they have no right to protest during work hours" even though they are walking the picket lines as teachers, nurses, postal workers, union workers, etc.  seeking better and safer, more profitable and equal work environments. 

Protesting brings about change.  

Public protests with larger groups of people bring about change more rapidly than singular protests will. 
 
Remember the lunch counters at Woolworth's when a black man sat there? 
The water fountains, women's right to vote, Selma, Alabama, 4o hour work week?   
 
This one hits close to me as well as many in my generation- 
my Italian grandmother married an Irish man and his Irish mother refused to come to the wedding.  
My Aunt married a Jewish man whose mother refused to come to the wedding and my own father who lived in Adams married a woman from "the wrong side of the tracks",  North Adams!  
EEKKK!  The horror! 

Walls will tell you that "athletes are not heroes" and therefore deserve to be paid less than those that they deem heroes.  
Does Superman, Mighty Mouse, and Underdog fit into the hero category because these characters were certainly heroes of mine?  How much do those characters get paid because I know their values helped mold me.

Does the child who lies in Boston Children's Hospital not see Tom Brady as a hero when he comes to his bedside with a football or a jersey?  

Do the people of Houston Texas not view J.J. Watt as a hero for raising over 31 million dollars and still counting for the Houston Relief Fund?  

Is Eli Manning not a hero for his undertaking of a 5-year campaign in 2007 to raise $2.5 million for the construction of "The Eli Manning Children's Clinics" at the Blair E. Batson Hospital for Children?
  
Are we not heroes in our children's eyes even though we don't go into burning buildings or saving lives on an operating table?
Are we all not heroes in some form or another?

Walls will always tell you, but they will never listen and that is fine for them, but it isn't a way for a democratic society to function.  
We see that over and over being played out in Congress.  

It isn't working.  
It will never work.  
Democracy and change occur when there is an opening of free thought and honest debate.

America was not founded by walls, but by doors.  
Doors that were at one point closed but opened ever so slightly when the values of our Founding Fathers overruled their beliefs. 
We must as a society, stop falling prey to those who seek to destroy our unity by dividing our United States with misleading words and hateful actions.

I write this blog with deep passion and quiet humility.  
My desire is not to incite anger, never to promote ill-will, disrespect, alienate or force my opinions, but to possibly turn on a light aimed directly at the deep values that we as Americans are rooted in.  
Rights for all or rights for none.  

We can disagree, we can debate and we can stand firm on what we believe to be true for us as individuals, but what we can not ever do is confuse the value of every American and the right to pursue life, liberty, and happiness, in a safe and equal way with our beliefs as to what the symbol of those rights are. 
  
I'm choosing to be a light in all that I do on this earth,  and with all lights, sometimes they burn to touch and hurt to sometimes look at but are a necessary form of illumination, and here in America, I have that right.  
1 Comment

Faces and Mirrors

9/14/2017

5 Comments

 
PictureChristmas Eve 1973
​I am a very fortunate lady and I have been blessed to live a relatively peaceful and happy adult life.  

I say adult life because, like most of us, there are situations that occur in our lives that are life altering and typically occur during our most formative years.  


I also have been extremely fortunate with my career.

It is very true,  I found the whole psychic medium gig frightening at first and definitely wanted nothing to do with the stigma attached to being a psychic, but thankfully it grew and blossomed over many seasons of working as a massage therapist on many, many clients that eventually  became friends, huge support systems and cheerleaders for my ever evolving career in the "Healing and Up-lift-ment Department of the Universe".

It is also true not a minute goes by without me being grateful for the life I have been supported to create and the future that I am encouraged to follow, or reminded of how easily it could have turned out so differently.  

During these past 30 years, especially what I refer to as the "What the Hell is this all about?" years of my psychic development, I have been continually pushed to reveal more and more of who I am now, where I was and where I am going.  

Being called to duty from the other side has many requirements #1 being to know who you are, completely.  Loving who you are unabashedly as well as being willing to allow an evolution of the greatest you to occur organically and without judgement. 

You see, being a conduit for the other side isn't always easy and it certainly isn't for the faint at heart.

Actually, it is only for those willing to be completely eviscerated, splayed and left naked in the brutality of our own vulnerability, facing every fear, every memory, every hateful word ever spoken to us or by us and every deed good or bad beating us down like a hurricane of of biblical proportions only to eventually find balance on Mother Earths lovingly dry soil under the desert sun while desperately seeking shade and water.

"Dramatic?"

Nope.

I haven't even mentioned the waterfalls of Niagara pouring through our eyes, releasing all that we've encountered during our initiation or the epic fires in the rain forest that eventually force us to break the seed and begin forming the idea of what expression we will be and when that expression finally emerges, just when we feel we may have control, another wave pulls us into the depths of our souls so that we can once again re-move, re-new and re-form.  

"That would be dramatic."  

"I thought you would appreciate that."

Working for the Universe has its perks, but the initiation period is fucking brutal.
 
"And a necessary period of transformation in which the vessel becomes spacious and whole for our use.  It is not our intention to cause pain, merely clear you from it so that you may be of value to those who seek to cleanse."  

So here I am, years later, a spacious vessel all cleared out, open for business, ready to help and here it comes....the mirror of my childhood standing in front of me,  desperately searching for a steady hand to grab, in the form of a client.

"She is tormented today by yesterday."
 
Her spirit crushed, her heart torn to shreds, faith shattered, lost in grief searching for peace.

The exit ramp on the highway towards Peace of Heart, in which  I was able to narrowly turn onto 20 plus years ago and continue to drive daily,  she has yet to find and I am being asked to give her a map.
 
More so, to be her guiding light on that map so maybe she to will be able to find the "Peace of Heart Highway", just right of "Highway to Despair".
   

Her story began at 9 years old when her mother died leaving behind 3 young girls to be raised by an ill father, a loving family with very little money, even less time,  but generous hearts and souls.  

At that moment her identity was lost.  

Her balance and sense of trust ripped away from her at an age when loosing her favorite Barbie should have been her only trauma.  

Her life, her hopes and her dreams forever altered by a death that she couldn't really understand yet knew would devastate her.  

Siblings crying, but not understanding at that moment the magnitude of loss they were about to face and the years in which this loss would take from them.   

An age when learning to master a bike without training wheels and crossing the road without having to hold your mother's hand was the biggest obstacle she faced and never, not ever could she imagine going to sleep without a nighttime prayer and kiss from her mother.  

Never could a 9-year-old imagine such a devastating turn of events.

Neither could a 7- year old.  

Growing up a Motherless daughter is in-explainable unless you have been through it and even then, in-explainable.  
There is a hole so deep that NO THING, NO ONE, will ever fill.
 
It destroys your faith, your identity, your security, your entire childhood and many times, your adult hood.  

It destroys families and futures.
 
It eats you alive until it doesn't, and only when you are old enough to understand slightly and make that journey of allowing the pain of it all to re-enter, re-new and re-form you so that you can process it as an adult, can you even begin to be just ok with it, and being just ok is a good thing.

"A motherless daughter is forever an orphan." she spits out through tears as I nod in simple understanding, for I know this intimately.

"A motherless daughter is forever an orphan" rattles me.

 I know this to be true, yet I no longer choose this truth to be my definition of life.  

As I sit across from her,  listening carefully to her words, I beg my ego to be removed so that only Spirit speaks, but even in this altered state I know I am once again being reminded of my own despair.  

She speaks of how she will never be able to follow in her mother's footsteps, never had her mother's hand to hold after her first heart break, never had her mother to  hold the tissues at her wedding, never would see her mother's  her eyes shimmer with loving tears at the birth of her children, never have a mother to offer advice for the million obstacles life loves to toss at her and never, not ever watch her age gracefully and teach her how to as well.  
She is a true orphan in every sense of the world.  
She speaks of how the world has betrayed her.  
Spirit has left her.   


Orphans left on earth, Angels risen in Heaven.  

As I sit and look at the mirror of my life in the face of my client, I want to comfort her by saying "Yes, we are orphans, and yes, this sucks, yes, this may be our title, but it does not have to be a cross in which we carry and crucify ourselves upon."

I want to tell her that she doesn't have to live in the crater that was created in her being when her mother died.  

I want to tell her that she can recognize what she lost yet still remain in awe of all that she still has. 

I want to tell her she can hate with every ounce of her being that she is an orphan, but love just as equally her living family, friends, and acquaintances,  that nurture her soul today.  

I want her to understand that she has so much yet to accomplish,  to offer, to see and be and do.

I want her to know

She can learn to feel love again.  

She can learn to accept people into our hearts and our souls without fear that they will leave her.

She can thrive even though her roots have scars.  

She does not need the crutches of addictions to hold her up when she falls, comforts her when she feels hopeless and put her to sleep when she is tired.

I want to say that she is stable because she is her mother's daughter.  

She is her mother's daughter and death does not take that from her!  

I want to hug her so tight that she feels the love pouring into her from her mother, who stands beside her every moment of every day, offering her mothering in different ways.  

I want to help her find another route, another highway, another car, anything to pull her from the madness of sorrow that consumes her, but I know that I can't.  

I can relay messages and offer thoughts from her mother on the other side.

I can ask and receive answers and I can tell her what she wants to know, but I can't stitch that wound.

I can tell her what her mother tells me, but she must allow those words to penetrate the walls built of fear, anger, sorrow, trauma, loss.  

I can tell her so much, but she has to decided to live a dream and not a nightmare that began with death but is being continued through her own thoughts. 

I tell her to find the courage to open herself up to a life that is rich and full, loving, kind and nourishing even though a part of her altered.  

I want to tell her that her story is my story too and that there are more of us than she can imagine and we are filling ourselves with hope because that is why our mothers gave us life.

But I don't.  I hold her hand, I love her soul, I speak with Spirit, but I know my story isn't hers and my job today is to lead her to the highway and pray she takes it. 

Like so many of of who have lost mothers, we know that the only way to heal is to accept what might have been will be found in  another life.  and that this life, the life we are here to explore, to learn from, to love in, to grow and thrive in,  "To be an expression of an ever loving God"  is never going to be completely whole, but  chipped, cracked, shredded at times  and always carefully held by hands that are unseen and loved by a heart we no longer see beating yet feel beating instead.
 
It took me years to heal enough to not hate this world and the world hanging out beyond the veil.  

Years to love my children fully and completely without fear that I would leave them orphans or they would leave me childless, and years to forgive myself for not understanding then what I understand now.  


"That to love only for a moment without fear is the ultimate expression of euphoria."  

Faith, love, and life don't come easily for a motherless daughter, but it does come if we allow the pain to wash over us again and observe it as an adult.  
If we don't lock it up and use it to shield us from life, but rather as a sword of courage from the ashes of a torched childhood.    
​
We orphans, we know that we are different.  

We are molded in a different type of cast.

Maybe we are a bit broken.  

We don't trust well, we don't love completely, we are shattered and glued with bandages and putty, we are incomplete and there are deep wells that lie within us that every now and then we go back to and when we come back  we remember we are warriors and we are ok

Just ok and that is good.  

Today, I was lucky enough to spend time at home with my son. I sat in meditation early on and opened the box of pictures that I was able to hold onto after my mother died.

These are all I have left of her, of us,  that is physical and I keep them sheltered, hidden from the world which may take her away from me, even though  I know nothing can.

I took out the last picture taken of her and the last picture of me with her.  

I am  able to cry openly about my pain and when I said quietly staring at the picture of me as a child holding my doll on that last Christmas Eve,  
"this was the very last time I was truly happy"
my son, Alex, just as quietly said,
​"that isn't true, mom, you are truly happy now."  

"I love that boy"

"So do I, Mom, so do I." 

I hope that my client finds peace and understanding after our meeting.  

I hope she feels love, joy, happiness, and safety knowing that she isn't alone and I hope that when Spirit walks with her and when her mother whispers words of love she will finally be able to hear them.

I hope that everyone who lost a mother, a child, a lover, a friend will stop to hear the whispers, feel the love and choose in that moment to love them back.  

I never share my photos, but today I do.  I love you Mom and I know you love me back. 




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Katherine Jean Voghel Bieniek Loving Mother of Kimberly, Jennifer and Damon
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That Old Black Dog

9/11/2017

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I imagine there is not one person that can say this was a long, easy going summer.  

I certainly can not.

I can tell you that the energies were extremely chaotic with so many planets in retrograde and a solar eclipse smack dab in the middle of a one year, we've been dealing with a huge ball of energetic energies whizzing around us all summer long.

Climate, political, personal, you name it, it has been chaotic at worst, confusing at best, and no in between.

Most of the time we felt as though we were standing on fault lines just waiting to quake under us and take us down.  

Deaths were numerous and extremely tragic.
.  
Depression and euphoria weaved within us almost by the hour and money, well, money is ruling the world and it isn't ruling it well.  

Yet, with all that has happened, we still are waking to glorious sunrises and taking pause to become one with the magnificent sunsets, reminding us that natural beauty, peace, calm, and joy are always surrounding us.  
​When we stop for a moment and consider the beauty in all that is chaotic, somehow peace begins to appear.

I am guilty of letting the chaos immerse me over the summer.  I have been ignoring my soul self and feeding into my ego self.  I have been acquiring more than inquiring and I have been owning, digesting really, the chaos of the world, the pain of those around me and the sorrows of those I can't possibly help.  
I have once again allowed the world's events to consume me rather than let the world's events nourish me and in doing so, I have forgotten to observe, allow, flow, rest, live.  

Until as is usual,  my guides and "team Jen" decided to send in a life tube.  

I know when I am "getting a talking to" when I can't sleep at night.  
I toss and turn until I finally ask "WHAT?!"

Then, of course, I get nothing until I simmer myself down and be more polite, which seems pretty impossible at 3:30 in the morning after lying there since 1 a.m worrying about events I can't possibly change and wondering how to fix events that haven't even happened yet.  
My ego likes to do that to me...it creates a situation that hasn't occurred and like a dog looking for its tail there I go, running in circles.  
​Until of course I fall asleep around 5 and wake up around 6.  

Today I decided enough of this.  I'm tired, I'm cranky and I'm not in any mood.  

"Do you hear me?!  I am now exhausted and pissed off.  I'm getting coffee and guess what, I am choosing to NOT meditate!"  "I need coffee."

Instead of meditating I decided to park my ass on the chair in the living room and drink coffee.  

As I sat in my room my eyes started unintentionally focusing on the picture hanging above the love seat in my living room.  
Tim purchased this picture for me years ago when we were struggling with our marriage, our finances, our kids leaving home and our business draining us mentally.  

At that time, we were going through a  "dark night of the soul", hanging onto a thread hoping the waging waters below us wouldn't drown us.   All that we believed to be true proved false and the life we had so steadily built crashed like a matchstick house.   
Thankfully the waters turned calm, but we were profoundly changed.  
​
We are not "Tim and Jen"  anymore, we are "Tim" and "Jen." and it is better. 

That being said, through all of the chaos, this picture and it's sister, held a great space in my heart as a time of darkness and eventual illumination.  

As I focused my eyes on the picture, my mind's eye turned its gaze on the dragonfly, who floats just a bit away from the black dog's nose.

I am reminded of my hard learned lessons of always facing whatever message we hear and see.  Dragonflies are our little heads up that messages are coming our way, keep your eyes focused and you will see and hear the messages and it is your free will to take what you have learned and use it in your life.
 
I also notice the wooden canoe and the realization that it is without a paddle.  
No need for steering, for the messages will always show us the way if we just keep our nose on the prize.  
No need to worry about the wavy waters, they will always bring us to our soul's next destination, never away.  

Water has a way of doing that.  It flows and ebbs while cleansing the underlying debris by bringing it from the deepest, darkest depths to the shimmering light of the day.  Much like when your soul cleans through your tears. 

"I know.  I'm sorry I cranked out." 

The waves will carry us only so far away before they almost immediately, (though it seems like a lifetime),  bring us back to shore.  

Most of the time the shore is unrecognizable but is dry, warm and safe until the next wave carries us to another destination.  

Black Dog doesn't worry.  
Black Dog doesn't think.
Black Dog doesn't panic.
Black Dog doesn't turn away or back down. 

Black Dog doesn't have a paddle, doesn't have a map, doesn't have a life preserver or an anchor,  but he has focus and a guide.  

Black Dog has it figured out.  

I'm going to work diligently from here on out to heed the lesson I've been taught by Black Dog.  
​
Lord knows I have the guides.

I just have to stop chasing that tail.  

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Supposed to's and should haves

8/14/2017

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It has been a very long time since I allowed myself to type out my thoughts and look at them in black and white.
You see, this has been a summer of sorrows and sadness' for me and when I get too sad, too emotional, too angry, too shaken, I turn to the "supposed to's and should have's" as an escape route rather than acceptance of how life works and why it does so.

In May, I had it going on.  
I bought a new house, decided to take a few more hours off of my massage practice to devote to my spiritual practice.  
I added more hours to my medium-ship work and became a rehab addict to my 1910 side hall colonial.  
Finally, the past 3 years of upheaval were making sense and calm was coming for a visit.  

At least that was what was supposed to happen.
 
What should have happened.

Instead, once again, life did what life does.  It's own thing.

"Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans."  ~  Lennon

My calm and quiet life dream were quickly shattered by the death of one of my client turned friend.  
She was at the peak of her life.  29 years old, married, great job, nice house, first baby on the way.  
We talked weekly during her massage appointments about how she saw her life in the future.  
What should have been and what was supposed to be.  
She was going to have her son, already named Emmitt, at the end of June.  
She and her husband were going to raise him to be strong, bold, courageous, brilliant and above all else, loved.  
She had it all planned.
Life chose another route.  
Emmitt was to be raised by his father alone.  
His mother passed 5 hours after his birth. 

For weeks, months, (even today),  I cried out in anguish to all who were within earshot, on earth or on the other side, "This shouldn't have happened"! "She was supposed to raise her son!"  "This is not the way it is supposed to be!" 

Grieving became my new normal.  
I was being forced to relive the death of my own mother, as she too died after child birth, My friend's death tore open years of carefully placed, stacked, stored and locked memories and feelings which were supposed to stay that way.

"I shouldn't have to deal with this again." 

"But you are"

"But I'm not!"

And I didn't.  
I stopped thinking about it.  
I stopped meditating as that only made me go deeper into my feelings.  
I stopped my Spiritual practice as that only made me question my guides and helpers and I didn't like what their answers were.  
I stopped working on my mediumship and took lots of time off from my massage practice.
I stopped writing and I stopped talking with God.  
I lived from my ego, not from my soul. 

I began drying up inside.  
I cleaned and re-cleaned, rehabbed much of the house, spent money on furnishings, bitched about the government (still do and will continue), and found fault with everything and everyone around me.  
I made sure to stop living lightly.  
I made sure to dig in deep and push my anger into my relationship with Tim.  
We fought like we did during our divorce stage.  
We stopped working well together.   In reality, he was working with me, I wasn't working with him.  I was not going to allow myself to be happy, and he was the first to be reminded of that.
I stopped feeling.  
I stopped the easy flow of life and constructed my own barriers.  

That is what you are supposed to do when things aren't going the way they should.

"Only if you choose to behave that way."

"You could easily choose to have faith that there are no should haves and supposed to's"  "You are so tender, so young in spirit, wise in years, yet your anger diminishes you.  You force this anger into your heart.  Your heart does not accept this.  Your soul rejects this.  You use this anger inappropriately.  Anger is a tool for growth, not destruction."

​I heard this over and over again but refused to budge.  
It wasn't supposed to happen.
Soon everything in my life began and ended with should have and supposed to. 

Paige should have called today.  It's Tuesday, she knows I am home on Tuesday's.
Alex was supposed to be home tonight.  I cooked his favorite meal.
I was supposed to have that painted by now.  I told Tim I wanted that done.  
My friends should understand me by now.  I need breathing room.
I suppose I should have meditated today. I am a Medium.  I'm supposed to be spiritual.
My life is supposed to be easier.  Life is supposed to be simple.  
You name it, I supposed and should have'd  it to death. 

Then came more indignation.  
I stopped hearing with the ears behind my ears, seeing with the eyes behind my eyes and feeling with the heart behind my heart.  
I deliberately ignored who I was, what I believed, and what I knew to be my truth.  
I, in essence, chose my ego over my soul because, in my grief, that was what
I was supposed to do.  Isn't that how we deal with pain?  
Don't we let our ego protect us from our feelings?
 From our memories?
 From our growing pains?

"The pain pushes until the vision pulls"  ~  Michael Bernard Beckwith

"What are you going to do now?  You've doubled down and you're still feeling, still remembering, still knowing.  What do you know to be true for you; what do you finally see?"

These are the words I heard this morning while staring with tears in my eyes at my newly replanted, failing to thrive,  Magnolia tree.  
She was planted too close to my sun porch and one of her branches poked into my window, causing it to crack.  
I moved her a few weeks ago and immediately nurtured her growth in her new surroundings.  
It takes time, I assured her.  
You will grow accustomed to your new foundation.  
The sun will love you, water and food nourish you and you will grow big and tall and beautiful.
​ I can't wait to see you thrive.

"My Magnolia tree is dying!"  "I did everything right and now she is turning brown and wilting!"  "This isn't supposed to happen!"  "She should be happy in her new spot!"  "She is supposed to live!" "Damn it!  I am so tired!"

"Look deeper."

"It is true that the leaves are browning and turning downward, but the roots are strong and the limbs are alive.  Sometimes outer appearances show signs of despair while roots become stronger.  She will survive.  She will grow, she will thrive.  She is loved. "

"No matter where she is?"

"No matter where she is."










 







 

6 Comments

Buddha and Busy

6/19/2017

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This past month or so I have been busy.
Not the "oh, I'm so busy I couldn't possibly do that...." or the "oh, I'm so busy" habitual saying when asked casually "How's life been treating you"?  

No, I've been busy buying, selling, rehabbing, moving while still maintaining my business and paying my bills, busy.  

I've been so busy that my feet and hands are falling asleep while my brain is yelling at them to keep moving.  

The kind of busy that wakes you up at 5 am and puts you to sleep at 8 pm busy while inhabiting your every awakened and every sleeping moment until you become a zombie of the mind.

That kind of busy.

Are you done listening to how busy I am?  

Done?

So is Buddha.  

Buddha has had enough of me being busy and has found many ways to tell me while I kept finding many ways to  ignore him.  

Today, I listened.  

Today I sat.  
I meditated.  
I slowed down.  
I heard.  
I stopped.

Buddha won as Buddha always does.

For weeks I have been focusing on my material being.  My home, my desires, my wants and my expectations.
 
I've rehabbed a kitchen with the help of RickyP and TimmyToo.  
Managed the plumber, the electrician, the painter, (UGGHHH),
the floor guys, the bathroom guy, the ceiling guys, the window guys, and the moving guys.  

I've washed and waxed every nook and cranny of wood in this  1910 beauty that I call home and I've cooked a few meals.  

I've even entertained a guest or two.  

Do you know what I hadn't done?

Maintained my Spiritual practice.

I hadn't meditated.  
I hadn't sat still and listened to my guides, I hadn't spoken to Mother Mary and I hadn't held my soul in loving space enough.
 
Nope, I was too busy being all material.

And I LOVED it!

Yes, I loved it.  
It was fun, it was exhausting and it was tiring, but I enjoyed every second of it and am still intending to.  Only this time, I will balance my life between work, rest, and play.

You see, it is OK to be out of balance for a bit.  
Life does get hectic at times and life does tend to keep that see-saw up or down at times, but when that happens, we have to still pay attention to the signs that are being shown to us to become more in balance.
 
Balance is always the goal.  

Balance allows all that is right to continue and all that doesn't appear right to be alright.  

Today I began my day as I have been these past weeks...running.

Up to the attic to unpack those last remaining boxes before work.

So much to do, so little time to do it..... busy, busy, busy.

Box one, box two, box....

Then Buddha shows up again and finally gets through.

There he is.  
Peacefully waiting to be unwrapped from the layer and layers of bubble wrap keeping him safe in his journey, waiting to be noticed.  To be heard.
 
"Are you still?"
"I'm getting there."
"There is no "there", only here."
"I'm here, getting there!"
"There is no there, only here."
"I know! It is a figure of speech.  I will be still when I am done and I'm not done yet."
"What is done to you?"
"Oh for the love of God, I don't know!"

I am yelling at Buddha.

I am standing alone in my sun room and I am yelling at my Buddha statue and my Buddha statue is laughing at me.

Not only is Buddha laughing at me, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Mother and the rest of "Team Jen" are having a field day with my disposition!  My team is much more patient than I am, but there are limits and today, it has been reached.  That buzzing in my ears and head is explosive and it is aimed directly at me.  

Okay, I give up!
  
"Listen up everyone, I'm sitting and I am listening, start talking."

"Finally...listen up, we've got lots to say....."

The rest of the conversation is pretty simple.
 
Settle down, sit down and shush up.  Get back to your life, but balance it. You've done well, now do better.  Your spiritual practice awaits and we have lots to teach you so pull up a chair, shut your eyes and let us do our work.

One hour later I'm a bit more balanced and a lot more humbled.
​ 
As I always say...
Buddha always wins.

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Sneakers and Skirts

5/17/2017

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                                               I'm a bit on the nutty side. I laugh loudly, I love deeply, I smile broadly, I get pissed when provoked and hold grudges. I converse with the dead, hang with the angels, see spirits and I wear sneakers with skirts. Always. 
Not kidding.
I really do.
​ I admit it, I am really nuts, and I love that about me and I love that about you. 

Yes, YOU! 

Don't hide your nuttiness from me, I can see it and more importantly I encourage it! 

Life encourages us to be nuts. If we weren't nuts we wouldn't have decided to come to this crazy, beautiful, amazing, scary, love-filled, hate-filled, brilliant and magical planet we call earth.

 Earth, in all of her psychedelic colors, unimaginable animal life, vegetation, waterfalls, oceans, mountains, hills, suns and moons, indescribable sounds, tastes. pleasures, atmosphere, etc., encourages us to live a full and rich life of nutty. 

How many times in this past week alone have you said, "that is nuts", "that is crazy", "that is insane", or my personal daily mantra of late "WTF is wrong with this world?!" 

Earth is crazy and its inhabitants are even crazier and that, my friends, is nuts!

And there is no other way it could be. 

We inhabit this huge round crystal ball that is somehow floating around in a solar system that began with a speck of dust and a star.

 Crazy, right?!

The Solar System was formed from a rotating cloud of gas and dust which spun around a newly forming star, our Sun, at its center.
The planets all formed from this spinning disk-shaped cloud and continued this rotating course around the Sun after they were formed.
The gravity of the Sun keeps the planets in their orbits.
They stay in their orbits because there is no other force in the Solar System which can stop them. 

 Yup, nuts!

And here we are thinking somehow that we are supposed to be all serious.. to not have fun with this? 

C'mon. 

Even Neil deGrasse Tyson, astrophysicist, author, and science communicator, who may be the only living man who understands enough about how this thing works pokes fun at it. 
That guy cracks me up. 

We can not sur-thrive unless we embrace our inner nut.

Anyone of us, at this very moment could spend hours, if not years, debating the current political system, the economic outlook, the races, religions, education, health care system, global warming, as well as numerous other current issues that do indeed need to be discussed and "fixed" to make human life on earth more balanced, but let's keep the nutty alive.

I'm not advocating insane or delusional. That nut needs to stay in its shell.

I'm not a fan of greed, pharmacy over food, fiction over fact, religious wars, poverty wars, war of any type and if I had it my way, 90% or our current "leaders" in this world would be put on their own special island where they can create their own special hell and leave us nuts alone to create our Utopia.  

I am advocating freedom to live fearlessly in our own uniqueness.

I advocate turning off the television, putting down the books, leaving the radio on mute, leaving your phone at home, unplugging the internet.
 
I am advocating tuning into ourselves and our own personal uniqueness, whatever that may be.

I am advocating thinking about how incredibly awesome you are and how your own brand of nuttiness is making this gorgeous piece of artwork that we inhabit home.

I am advocating owning both your darkness and light. Loving who you are and what you see when you look in the mirror.

I am advocating knowing that here, right now, without YOU, without me, this world would be less. 
Less amazing, less beautiful, less psychedelic, less enjoyable, less creative, less diverse, less real. 

Without you, without me, without them, we are less and being less is unacceptable. 

Wear your hair purple if that makes you happy. Eat only veggies or eat only meat or eat both. Practice your religion and leave others to practice theirs. Drive an orange car, ride a motorcycle. hike a mountain, splash in a stream, swim in the ocean, ride your bike uphill and fly downhill, ski, run, laugh, live, sing, yell when you are pissed, cry when you are sad. Build your tribe of like-minded individuals and leave other tribes alone. Beat the crap out of a punching bag, eat ice cream or not, dance with abandon, wear sneakers with skirts. Tell a dirty joke and even better laugh at one. Be determined to live a life worth writing about, but above all, live your life in your own nutty way and let all others do the same.

 Love yourself, love the earth, love one another and love your nutty life. 
  

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Vibrations of Life

5/7/2017

2 Comments

 
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I've always been a John Lennon fan.

I must have been exposed to John Lennon while in the womb because I can not remember a time when I wasn't a John Lennon fan nor a time when his words didn't in some way either come into my head to either save my ass or to kick my ass.  

His words, his spirit, his ideals seem to be woven into my DNA, so when I see or hear a quote from John Lennon, I stop whatever I am doing and I ponder.  

Especially one that I have never heard before.

"Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it." ~ John Lennon

This is the quote that appeared before me without even looking while feeling the need to write something.  

I always know when I need to write something because I get this incredible heavy feeling in the back of my head and I feel an inexplicable need to sleep.  

Most of the time it is a message from my guides that seeks to be heard, sometimes I need a nap.

Tonight it is a message.

Is there more to music than what you hear? 
More than the lyrics, more than the rhythm, more than the tune, more than the sound. What do you hear, Jennifer?  
What do you posses?


More like what is possessing me, but hey, I'll play along.
 
Careful.

Fine.  

I do hear more than music.  
I hear life.  
I hear love.  
I hear community.  
I hear meaning.

For me, music isn't the lyrics, notes, rhythm, sound.
 
Music is the sound of life.  

Music is the rhythmic beat of my heart, the gentle breeze as it wisps past me, the soft breath thru my nose, the gentle tap of my fingers on the keyboard, the click of my heels.  

Music is the chirp of birds and the song of peepers.  

It is children playing, people laughing,  lawn mowers and chainsaws carving natures picture, dogs barking, leaves blowing, cars speeding by with radios blaring.  

Music is a backdrop to a party, a hymn at a funeral, a song in your soul, a tune in your whistle.  

Music is the vibration that moves us closer to one another.  
Music is the continual underlying vibration, sounds for most, that are uniquely interpreted by each individual soul in which God speaks.


What?

They way in which you interpret unique vibrations into sounds is the way your soul hears God.
It is nourishment for your soul's growth.


So, you are telling me that God speaks to Stacy using the Rolling Stones and God speaks to me using the Beatles.

No.

Oh.

We are explaining that each member of the Rolling Stones and each member of the Beatles heard and interpreted vibrations that uniquely resonated a feeling, a desire, a spark, an epiphany of sorts that led to the recipe of sounds and words that became the music in which you hear, in an individually unique way that your soul in turn interpreted into soul growth.
This specific type of soul growth is another way in which God speaks to YOU.  


Well, it appears to me God liked talking to the Beatles way more than the Stones. 

God doesn't pick favorites.

I do.  

That is why you remain a "sprouting seed."

Cute.

Tonight I was one in a community pulled together by music to help one of our own during her personal life crisis.  

A young, vibrant, loving and gifted soul, with a loving community beside her, is facing an uphill battle in her victory over Hodgkin's Lymphoma.
 
Her life forever different but not cut short.  

A community different too.    

I watched, no, I felt, friends and strangers sing the chorus of beloved songs in the auditorium of a small elementary school that only weeks before heard the cries of anger at the announcement of its closing in the near future.  

I heard the history of the building whisper its stories to me while Sam and Ron passionately sang for a hopeful crowd.  

Sam's voice blending with the Angels as Ron channeled the composers of long, long ago.  

With each blending of voice and each rise and fall of the notes, I started to see the chimes singing in the wind, the raindrops grouping lyrically into a puddle and the symphony of waves, rocks, birds, pianos, saxophones, guitars, rising together in a vibration that furthers us closer to our highest selves.  

I felt, with my eyes shut and ears opened,  the beauty of our world and its love for us.  

I began to, in some small way understand a possession of my own music.

Tonight we were a community in concert, brought together for one.
 
I moved with the rhythm of life while pondering its music.

Music touches us.  

It reaches into the depth of our beings.  

It conjures memories, sparks love,  motivates our workouts, lulls us to sleep, nurtures our creativity, lifts our spirits, speaks to our souls.  

Music spurs discussions between friends and strangers.  

Almost weekly my old high school friend, Aaron, will spark a new discussion about a record, a song, a band, and I, will quietly and curiously observe as their knowledge of this music is far greater than mine and laugh as the conversation typically becomes an essay into each others life.
 
Music will ask questions like Pete Seeger's
"Where have all the flowers gone"

Creedence Clearwater Revival's
"Who'll stop the Rain"

The Clash's
"Should I stay or should I go?"  

Crosby Stills and Nash
"For What its Worth"

The Who
"Who are You"

Music also tells us stories.  

Stories like Arlo Guthrie's, "Alice's Restaurant",

Bob Dyan's "Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Heart"

Kenny Roger's 
"The Gambler"

Simon and Garfunkle's
"Mrs. Robinson"
Which also asks the question
"Where did you go, Joe DiMaggio"?
 

Oh! Clever!

Music will define us either deeper into or further away from our individual beliefs;

John Lennon's
"Imagine" and
"Give Peace a Chance"

 Bruce Springsteen's
"Born in the USA"  and
"The Rising"

Michael Jackson's 
​"Man in the Mirror"

Rush's
"The Trees"

Music, in whatever form resonates with the listener, is the vibrational thread that binds us together.  

Music is ours to posses.  

To create the perfect conditions for growth within our individual garden. Music is the soil, the water, the sun, the moon and the perfect environment for which our soul seed blossoms. 

What do you hear, Jennifer?  What do you posses?

I hear grace.  I posses a promise.

Music is a promise that life will continue to go on.  

The wind will always blow leaves, the waves will always crash against the rocks and fall back across the sand.  

Birds will always chirp and dogs, unfortunately, will always bark at 6 am on a Sunday morning.  

Children will play, hearts will beat, blood will pump, sighs will be sighed.

Angels will always use our voices and composers will always find a way to come back to play again.  

Tears will drop, noses will blow, laughter will be heard, songs will be sung.
​
John Lennon will always be on the radio somewhere.  

Tomorrow may not look like today, but the music in which life vibrates will always bring us a new promise of life everlasting.  


"Yeah we all shine on, like the moon, and the stars, and the sun." ~ John Lennon​
​

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    Jennifer Belanger Intuitive Practitioner, Spirit Medium, Tarot and Lenormand Card reader.

    ​​Hello, I’m Jennifer Belanger, an intuitive practitioner, spirit medium, and spiritual storyteller based in Pittsfield, Massachusetts. For more than a decade, I’ve worked in quiet partnership with Spirit, offering intuitive guidance, tarot and Lenormand readings, spirit communication, and a space for clarity, comfort, and meaningful connection. My work is rooted in listening — to what is present, to what remembers, and to what continues beyond what the eye can see. Over time, I’ve come to understand that mediumship alone tells only part of the story. Spirit carries memory and love, but when those impressions meet the imagery of tarot, Lenormand, and other symbolic cards, the message can become more grounded, more tangible, and easier to hold. The cards offer a shared visual language — one that Spirit can use to weave understanding through picture, symbol, and story. Together, they create a bridge between the unseen and the everyday, helping us reflect on our lives with greater clarity, compassion, and understanding. This blog is a place for those reflections. Here, I share stories, insights, spiritual reflections, and moments of recognition drawn from my work as an intuitive practitioner and spirit medium, from my experience with tarot and Lenormand, and from the quiet wisdom that reveals itself when we slow down enough to listen. Whether you are exploring your own intuition, seeking a deeper understanding of tarot or Lenormand, wondering about spirit communication, or simply looking for a thoughtful place to pause and reflect, I hope you find something here that speaks to you. I believe every soul has a story. And I believe love never ends. Jennifer Belanger
    Intuitive Practitioner & Spirit Medium
    Pittsfield, Massachusetts

     

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Jennifer Belanger, Intuitive Practitioner & Author

Card Readings • Mediumship • Lenormand Education • Books

Author of the Bare Bones Lenormand Series

Clocktower Building · 75 South Church Street, Floor 6 – Suite 11 · Pittsfield, MA

In-person sessions available · Virtual sessions available · Emailed readings available

Serving Western Massachusetts, the Berkshires, the Capital Region of New York, Southern Vermont, and clients worldwide.

All intuitive, tarot, mediumship, ancestral, and sacred connection sessions are provided for entertainment purposes only in accordance with Massachusetts law. Not a substitute for medical, legal, financial, or mental healthcare.

© 2010–2026 Jennifer Belanger. All rights reserved.

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