That Old Black Dog
I imagine there is not one person that can say this was a long, easy going summer.
I certainly can not.
I can tell you that the energies were extremely chaotic with so many planets in retrograde and a solar eclipse smack dab in the middle of a one year, we've been dealing with a huge ball of energetic energies whizzing around us all summer long.
Climate, political, personal, you name it, it has been chaotic at worst, confusing at best, and no in between.
Most of the time we felt as though we were standing on fault lines just waiting to quake under us and take us down.
Deaths were numerous and extremely tragic.
Depression and euphoria weaved within us almost by the hour and money, well, money is ruling the world and it isn't ruling it well.
Yet, with all that has happened, we still are waking to glorious sunrises and taking pause to become one with the magnificent sunsets, reminding us that natural beauty, peace, calm, and joy are always surrounding us.
When we stop for a moment and consider the beauty in all that is chaotic, somehow peace begins to appear.
I am guilty of letting the chaos immerse me over the summer. I have been ignoring my soul self and feeding into my ego self. I have been acquiring more than inquiring and I have been owning, digesting really, the chaos of the world, the pain of those around me and the sorrows of those I can't possibly help.
I have once again allowed the world's events to consume me rather than let the world's events nourish me and in doing so, I have forgotten to observe, allow, flow, rest, live.
Until as is usual, my guides and "team Jen" decided to send in a life tube.
I know when I am "getting a talking to" when I can't sleep at night.
I toss and turn until I finally ask "WHAT?!"
Then, of course, I get nothing until I simmer myself down and be more polite, which seems pretty impossible at 3:30 in the morning after lying there since 1 a.m worrying about events I can't possibly change and wondering how to fix events that haven't even happened yet.
My ego likes to do that to me...it creates a situation that hasn't occurred and like a dog looking for its tail there I go, running in circles.
Until of course I fall asleep around 5 and wake up around 6.
Today I decided enough of this. I'm tired, I'm cranky and I'm not in any mood.
"Do you hear me?! I am now exhausted and pissed off. I'm getting coffee and guess what, I am choosing to NOT meditate!" "I need coffee."
Instead of meditating I decided to park my ass on the chair in the living room and drink coffee.
As I sat in my room my eyes started unintentionally focusing on the picture hanging above the love seat in my living room.
Tim purchased this picture for me years ago when we were struggling with our marriage, our finances, our kids leaving home and our business draining us mentally.
At that time, we were going through a "dark night of the soul", hanging onto a thread hoping the waging waters below us wouldn't drown us. All that we believed to be true proved false and the life we had so steadily built crashed like a matchstick house.
Thankfully the waters turned calm, but we were profoundly changed.
We are not "Tim and Jen" anymore, we are "Tim" and "Jen." and it is better.
That being said, through all of the chaos, this picture and it's sister, held a great space in my heart as a time of darkness and eventual illumination.
As I focused my eyes on the picture, my mind's eye turned its gaze on the dragonfly, who floats just a bit away from the black dog's nose.
I am reminded of my hard learned lessons of always facing whatever message we hear and see. Dragonflies are our little heads up that messages are coming our way, keep your eyes focused and you will see and hear the messages and it is your free will to take what you have learned and use it in your life.
I also notice the wooden canoe and the realization that it is without a paddle.
No need for steering, for the messages will always show us the way if we just keep our nose on the prize.
No need to worry about the wavy waters, they will always bring us to our soul's next destination, never away.
Water has a way of doing that. It flows and ebbs while cleansing the underlying debris by bringing it from the deepest, darkest depths to the shimmering light of the day. Much like when your soul cleans through your tears.
"I know. I'm sorry I cranked out."
The waves will carry us only so far away before they almost immediately, (though it seems like a lifetime), bring us back to shore.
Most of the time the shore is unrecognizable but is dry, warm and safe until the next wave carries us to another destination.
Black Dog doesn't worry.
Black Dog doesn't think.
Black Dog doesn't panic.
Black Dog doesn't turn away or back down.
Black Dog doesn't have a paddle, doesn't have a map, doesn't have a life preserver or an anchor, but he has focus and a guide.
Black Dog has it figured out.
I'm going to work diligently from here on out to heed the lesson I've been taught by Black Dog.
Lord knows I have the guides.
I just have to stop chasing that tail.
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