The Messiness in the Message

"FIRST - I LOVE your blog - KATHY!  COME ON - that's a great story!!! Saw the follow-up post too...so - Kathy's full of shit?! "

This quote is from an e-mail I received yesterday from my dear friend, Sam.  I must  point out that Sam is one of the very first people who noticed and encouraged me in my spiritual growth and development into this "sprouting Medium" I affectionately refer to myself as, so she is a believer as well as a thoughtful skeptic.   So, when Sam asks if one of my guides  (in this case, Kathy) is "full of shit" I must sit quietly and ponder.  

When asked any question,  the first thought is to answer quickly as to either defend, acknowledge or plain old answer.  In this case, there is not a simple or quick answer.  It requires deep thought.  The type of deep thought that I am almost incapable of having.  I like easy, I like quick and I really like to defend myself.  Three qualities that do not bode well with my profession. I'm getting better.  I have too...Spirit is depending on me to grow beyond my limitations into my soul.  
So, here it goes...sit still, be peaceful, breathe, connect, raise up, listen.  

I'm replaying the "story" of Kathy in my mind a bit while I ask quietly for insight.  I also have no problem asking my guides if they are full of shit. Why not, I ask that of myself often.  Actually, so do many of my family members.  
"You are a psychic, healer, medium, intuitive coach?" 

"Yes."

"You're full of shit."

Defense mode! Not going to bite my tongue on this one!

Luckily my guides don't defend themselves, rather they enlighten me as to who I really am. The deep down me that is emerging.  They come through in so many ways with such love and compassion that I often mistake its message.  

Messages can be messy.  
​
Messages aren't meant to be definitive answers to definitive questions because our questions are always changing and never are they definitive. Answers are always meant to be evolving revelations.  What makes sense today very rarely makes sense a year from now if we've chosen to live intentionally.


See, Spirit will guide us, just as a map will, but we have to drive the car.  We have to have some sort of control in our thoughts, our desires, our ambitions, our life!  We have to look at the map, notice the routes, check for road closings and then we look for  the danger signs, the yellow lights, the stop sign, the rest stops.

You know that song, "Jesus take the wheel"?
It is NOT MEANT TO BE LITERAL!
We have to DRIVE THE CAR and see where that initial destination leads us and it is NEVER a direct route.  

"Is Kathy full of shit?"  
No, but my expectations were. I expected black and white, straight down the road advice and once again, I got a lesson on twists, turns, detours and pee breaks on the journey. Another reminder that the canvas is blank, but my palette is rich in color.
So many different creations yet to be created. So many roads to drive, so many paths to explore, so many freakin' pee breaks and detours, colors to blend and so much to learn, explore and yes, even fail at. 

Why was I told to look at the Victorian Farmhouse? I mean, really that was my first "sign".   It was an unbelievable value. Huge, renovated on the inside, close to town, large barn...great house, cheap price, absolutely irrelevant. The cost of maintenance was going to be astronomical.  The roof alone would have sunk me.  On the onset, it met many of my needs, and WOW, was it cheap, and that was the very first request I made to Spirit...show me a cheap home that meets my qualifications.  

 I loved the thought of not spending a ton of money on my next home.  Let's face it, I am a self employed psychic medium, energy therapist, body worker, deep transformational coach as well as a slew of other unconventional titles.  Not millionaire career choices here.  I answered the call to serve before checking out the pay scale.   

I in turn was reminded of a valuable lesson of which they are constantly belting me over the head with.  Listen to my guides, but use discernment and my power of free will to make the right choice with the knowledge I have available to me at this moment.  Do NOT use my guides as "written in stone", but rather, "explore this avenue."  

Eureka!

"When your lead with ego, ego leads you astray."  "Ego wants to keep you safe.  Safe isn't an experience."  "Experience life in its full messy glory."

"Yes, but I live in a material world..ask Madonna."

"You realize that our Madonna is different than your Madonna, agree."

Ugghhh!

I met Kathy and her foster kids while asking for a sign of safety from my guides.  Specifically "Is this a safe neighborhood?  I've been told I was most likely going to be killed on this street."    

"My name is Jennifer."  "Hi, I am Kathy."  Yippee, I won't be murdered!!

That was surely a sign from my guide.  

Absolutely, it was, but not specifically for the purchase of the house, but a definite reason why I was guided to look at the house in the first place.  
My kids, Paige and Alex are adults now  and  I have been contemplating foster care for quite a while. Maybe foster care down the road will be an option and now, because of this guidance,  I have a new friend named Kathy who I can discuss this option with.  Even better, I have a new friend, a new understanding of my needs and a new level of discernment.  

My questions were answered, but my questions evolved.  No longer was I asking for a cheap home to look at.  No longer was I asking for if I was safe. No longer was I asking if I should buy this home, but my questions did lead me to new discoveries.  Spirit brought me to another level of experience.  I am no longer looking for cheap, I am looking for "the best home for me and my family as well as a safe place to ensure my highest and greatest spiritual growth and evolution."  

When we ask the question and really listen, take the steps and move forward, Spirit will bring us the people, circumstances and synchronizations into alignment with our higher self which brings us our higher good.  "On earth as it is in Heaven."   Our souls reside in Heaven.  Our souls seek nourishment.  Fertile, messy, thick, deep black rich soil, the kind of soil that stinks like shit.  We grow our strongest when our soil is full of shit.  

I thank you, Sam, for asking the question.  The answer is "Yes."