Not the "oh, I'm so busy I couldn't possibly do that...." or the "oh, I'm so busy" habitual saying when asked casually "How's life been treating you"?
No, I've been busy buying, selling, rehabbing, moving while still maintaining my business and paying my bills, busy.
I've been so busy that my feet and hands are falling asleep while my brain is yelling at them to keep moving.
The kind of busy that wakes you up at 5 am and puts you to sleep at 8 pm busy while inhabiting your every awakened and every sleeping moment until you become a zombie of the mind.
That kind of busy.
Are you done listening to how busy I am?
So is Buddha.
Buddha has had enough of me being busy and has found many ways to tell me while I kept finding many ways to ignore him.
Today, I listened.
Today I sat.
I slowed down.
Buddha won as Buddha always does.
For weeks I have been focusing on my material being. My home, my desires, my wants and my expectations.
I've rehabbed a kitchen with the help of RickyP and TimmyToo.
Managed the plumber, the electrician, the painter, (UGGHHH),
the floor guys, the bathroom guy, the ceiling guys, the window guys, and the moving guys.
I've washed and waxed every nook and cranny of wood in this 1910 beauty that I call home and I've cooked a few meals.
I've even entertained a guest or two.
Do you know what I hadn't done?
Maintained my Spiritual practice.
I hadn't meditated.
I hadn't sat still and listened to my guides, I hadn't spoken to Mother Mary and I hadn't held my soul in loving space enough.
Nope, I was too busy being all material.
And I LOVED it!
Yes, I loved it.
It was fun, it was exhausting and it was tiring, but I enjoyed every second of it and am still intending to. Only this time, I will balance my life between work, rest, and play.
You see, it is OK to be out of balance for a bit.
Life does get hectic at times and life does tend to keep that see-saw up or down at times, but when that happens, we have to still pay attention to the signs that are being shown to us to become more in balance.
Balance is always the goal.
Balance allows all that is right to continue and all that doesn't appear right to be alright.
Today I began my day as I have been these past weeks...running.
Up to the attic to unpack those last remaining boxes before work.
So much to do, so little time to do it..... busy, busy, busy.
Box one, box two, box....
Then Buddha shows up again and finally gets through.
There he is.
Peacefully waiting to be unwrapped from the layer and layers of bubble wrap keeping him safe in his journey, waiting to be noticed. To be heard.
"Are you still?"
"I'm getting there."
"There is no "there", only here."
"I'm here, getting there!"
"There is no there, only here."
"I know! It is a figure of speech. I will be still when I am done and I'm not done yet."
"What is done to you?"
"Oh for the love of God, I don't know!"
I am yelling at Buddha.
I am standing alone in my sun room and I am yelling at my Buddha statue and my Buddha statue is laughing at me.
Not only is Buddha laughing at me, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Mother and the rest of "Team Jen" are having a field day with my disposition! My team is much more patient than I am, but there are limits and today, it has been reached. That buzzing in my ears and head is explosive and it is aimed directly at me.
Okay, I give up!
"Listen up everyone, I'm sitting and I am listening, start talking."
"Finally...listen up, we've got lots to say....."
The rest of the conversation is pretty simple.
Settle down, sit down and shush up. Get back to your life, but balance it. You've done well, now do better. Your spiritual practice awaits and we have lots to teach you so pull up a chair, shut your eyes and let us do our work.
One hour later I'm a bit more balanced and a lot more humbled.
As I always say...
Buddha always wins.