Pondering is one of my favorite pastimes as it can be done while doing almost anything else.
I can cook, clean, work, watch tv, lose at fantasy football every Sunday, talk with my husband, hang with my friends, garden, journal, even begin meditation while continually pondering some thought that wanders in and out rather than being present, in the moment, in the miraculous space of now.
Yup...I ponder, and I did it again this morning while dogging my morning meditation, only this time it yielded some real fruit.
This morning, while aimlessly finding reasons to be way too busy to park my ass and meditate I wandered upon my boy, Roy.
Roy. An Olde English Bulldogge with the peaceful soul of Buddha, the whimsical sparkly eyes of a child at play and allergic skin reactions that erupt faster than a pissed Mother Nature pointing her rage at the Hawaiian Volcano, Kilauea, on a dreadful day.
My Roy, the soul of a saint, the skin of a devil, a constant reminder that the two continually need to be monitored.
His skin is better today, thanks for asking, his ninety lb. body plopped comfortably on the couch enjoying a much-needed nap after his full
9 hours of sleep in which he awoke from just an hour prior.
His ability to plop anywhere at any time began my ponder for which I am quite grateful.
This has been a year of much movement, much change, much chaos, much angst, and much joy.
As all years past and all years future, there is a cycle, a wheel that turns and with each turn we are, as individuals in our own personal lives, either up, down or somewhere in the middle.
This year tended to begin down, moving to the middle, and finally a bit towards up.
It is the moving up that worries most of my clients and truth be told, myself as well.
The fear of change, of movement, of forwarding progress, seems to scare most of us more than being down or somewhere in the middle and that, the being comfortable in the down and uncomfortable in the up is what makes me ponder and clients ask "How"? More often than usual.
"How do you, how do I, how does it, how, how, how...."
Once again, an answer came in the purest form. Roy.
Little Roy, plopped on the couch allowing whatever will be, to be.
Patiently allowing this crazy lady who calls herself his mom, run around his home, talking to no-one and always way too loudly, do her stuff while staying comfortably plopped.
Observing with one eye opened while I begin dusting dog hair from the floor that will never be without it, and then running up and down the stairs for what seems to be without reason other than to swear when I slip on them.
Quietly observing me pouring a cup of coffee that I really, really don't need, recognizing my already heightened intensity, all while knowing I will inevitably leave the cup of too much hype somewhere it doesn't belong while asking a million times to the no-one who is listening "what the hell did I do with my coffee?"
Roy, who no matter how red his newly infected ear is, how painful his paw is from another mysteriously erupted sore or how itchy he may be from yet another dry spot on his precious skin, sleeps peacefully knowing he is safe.
This is WHY I KNOW the HOW.
Roy knows the HOW.
Love is how.
Roy knows that he is loved so much that all of his needs will be met and all he has to do is relax, and all will be given to him. He will get fed, he will get his medicine, lots of exercise and pats on the head, coconut oil rubbed on his skin, blankets on the couch. His needs always, as if by some miracle, met.
He has an unconditional love who takes care of him.
He doesn't have to know my name, he doesn't have to pray to me, he doesn't have to beg, plead or even please me to be loved.
He just is.
So am I, so are we.
My love for Roy is so abundant, so deep, I intuitively know what he needs without him asking and his ability to KNOW this love is so deep, so real that he never, ever asks WHY.
He just KNOWS.
All of Roy's needs are met without him doing much.
He gets up for food, lies down for a blanket, barks to be let out, gives kisses for a treat.
There are times when he is uncomfortable with his allergies.
There are times when he may be hungry, and there are times when he may feel a bit lonely.
Sometimes when the lightning is too close to home, he gets scared, and sometimes he doesn't have an immediate response to his barks, but he ALWAYS gets what he needs and wants in what may seem like forever to him, but really, is just a moment or two in the grand scheme of things.
No matter what is going on in life, with a little effort, a small gesture, a quick prayer, a short bark, the HOWS will always be met in the most miraculous ways.
That LOVE, the love Roy knows, comes from the LOVE that loves me.
It is me.
That LOVE loves all of us unconditionally.
The Love that made us is the Love that lives through us.
That LOVE is US!
No matter the wheel of fortunes cycle, I am loved, we are loved.
We can relax into the knowing that the HOW will be taken care of by Love that loves us unconditionally and will respond to all of our desires, needs, wants, hopes and barks when the time is right, and all we have to do is relax into it.